Immature Concept of Love
I suggest to first read: The Myth of Unconditional Love.
Men, who have never grown more mature than puberty sometimes behave, as if the loving relationship with a wife or partner would be the same as with their mother, with physical intimacy added.
When parents are by instinct attached to their offspring, they usually have accepted the fact, that for a long time the development of children requires one-sided, unconditional love. Children are completely selfish, narcissistic and unable to take care for any of their needs. Children make mistakes as a part of growing, and as long as they are not capable to be responsible, they need to be forgiven.
When they are in puberty, they expect the mother at home to serve food, wash their clothes, to be always present at home, whenever the child wants her to be supported and helped. When the child leaves the house in the pursuit of his own hobbies and interests, he considers it none of the mothers business, when and where he goes and what he decides for his own life. This is very unbalanced, the child expects the mother to be always available, while the child does as he pleases. It is a phase of life, if mature adulthood follows.
When a man grows into maturity, he learns, that with an equal partner, a relationship needs to be based upon the reciprocity of sharing decision, sharing chores, agreement on how to spend time together or alone, consent and consultation how to organize life.
Unfortunately, some men never reach that stage of development, instead they leave behind a mother, who has done enough, to exchange her for a mother with benefits.
But beware, if a woman like me searches for a partner capable and willing to be part of an ERCP relationship, then she is not the motherly kind, who willingly would take over the role of a mother with benefits.
