I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, November 5, 2010

138. Interpersonal Courage and Interpersonal Cowardice 3

Interpersonal Courage and Interpersonal Cowardice 3

This is another variety of interpersonal cowardice, when a jerk uses a woman as an outlet for his own personal problems.

A man can feel pain, depression, helplessness, anxieties and such because of emotional baggage, that he has brought along into the relationship.  

1.  A mature, trusting, bonded man reveals this truthfully to his partner and gets her support.   Supporting the other is a part of the role of an intrinsically committed partner, it is for better or for worse, for joy and for sorrow.  

2.  The interpersonal coward hides these feelings.  But those feelings build up pressure in him like inside a pressure cooker.   They find a valve, but in a form, that he can allow himself as consistent with his idea, how he is supposed to behave as a man.  
He converts all those feelings into anger, aggression, wrath, fury and rage.   He relieves himself of the pressure by terrorizing, intimidating and stressing his partner.  
A man, who would use me as a scapegoat for his bad temper, is not suitable for me.