I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

5. Gender Roles and External Appearance

Gender Roles and External Appearance

The two genders have different bodies, and to a lower degree hardwired some differences in the brain. Gender roles based upon any other alleged differences are irrational on a secondary level as they serve irrational instinctive urges.
Procreation has created gender roles of the provider and the homemaker, the ingroup-outgroup instinct has created the gender role of the soldiers, and more.
Gender roles are expressed by dress codes and behavioral rules.

Two partners, who want to be close and a unit under the ERCP do not need to create or enhance artificial differences by submission under roles ascribed by society. Instead they dress comfortably in jeans, t-shirts, sneakers. They have not reason to participate in the stupid game, that a man in suit and tie signals his social status and financial power, while a woman in a seductive outfit signals the availability of her body to be bought by social status. When they are alone, such people have too much self-respect to be driven into such behaviors, and when they have found each other as mind mates, they have even less reason to do so. Gender role games are struggles for power and advantages, detrimental to be a unit.

My kind of a man like myself keeps himself and his clothes clean and without holes or looking like rags, but that is roughly the amount of investment into the external appearance, that makes really sense, when people focus upon cultivating their intellect instead.
People suffer pain in getting piercings, tattoos and beauty operations, people spend horrendous sums on modifications and decorations of their bodies, they spend hours of time in front of a mirror painting their faces, ironing their clothes and shaving hair of their bodies. It does not make them any more intelligent, and I doubt, that it makes them any happier.
It just makes no sense to me and I am looking for a man, to whom it also makes no sense.

A man's beard grows everyday, and everyday again most men shave it off. Such a futile waste of time. Wise intellectuals like Karl Marx and Sigmund Freud had better things to do, they had beards and wrote books.
For two reasons I like men with beards. The first is purely my subjective taste. Men with full beards, like Santa, like a pirate, are attractive, while clean shaven men are not at all, and the visible shadow of a dark beard or stubbles are repulsive. The second is my dislike for the irrationality of wasting time and money on shaving.

A man in an ERCP relationship is someone close and similar, we are sharing our ingroup. Men in suits and ties are outgroup. They are everywhere, where I have to protect my own interests against them, be it in a shop or insurance agents attempting to sell me something. They are everywhere, where people want my money. I could never trust someone in a suit and tie.
I am looking for someone, who is as natural as I am. A man, who looks like the guy on the picture is welcome. Someone, who looks as if he wants to sell me an insurance, is not.

Also I am looking for a human being in a male body, not for a macho of any kind, nor for someone, who feels entitled to any privileges just because he is a man, and I prefer the division of chores according to skills and not gender roles. His identity is defined by being intellectual, creative, skilled, whatever talents he may have, not by being male.

Talking to a person is much more comfortable, when I can look into that person's eyes, and not at his collar or have to climb a ladder. Therefore I prefer men of the same size as myself, or not much taller, I am 5'4 or 163 cm. But size would not be an obstacle, if someone happens to be tall.    I make this remark more to encourage the guys, who fear to be rejected for being small, not to deter the tall ones.