I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

7. Social Contacts

Social Contacts

When and as much as I want to be with other living beings, mainly my quest is to find a partner close to my age, who would also be my best friend. As far as I like to make friends, I prefer women near to my age. The younger people are, the less they interest me.

For me, emotional attachment grows together with intellectual and mental closeness, with being mind mates.
With a partner of my age, I can go to museums and exhibitions, watch movies and theater plays, read the same books, observe each other, others and the own introspection, and two mind mates can spend hours in rational communication, in rewarding exchange of thoughts and ideas about all this. A partner of my age, who brings along his maturity, his knowledge, his education, his life experience, can enhance the intellectual value of cultural activities by contributing his thoughts and comments.

Nothing of this is possible with children or pets. For me, pets are as unattractive and uninteresting as are children. Both would just bore me, and in the museums, they would probably even disturb. I cannot get attached to them, because they bore me, and all the work to care for children or pets just keeps me from doing, what really interests me. Between grown up partners, there can we a fair exchange of giving and receiving. Children and pets are a one sided drain, since they have nothing to give, that is of value to me.

I like animals in the nature, I buy free range eggs and feed the birds in winter. But if a man has a pet, it is a deal breaker, because the pet would disturb me.
This does not make me selfish. Once there is intellectual and emotional intimacy with a partner, then I do not hesitate to care for him, should he need it. But I cannot see any reason, why to invest money and care in a being, that cannot even talk, it just makes no sense. Sometimes I wonder, if people are so attracted to dogs, because there they can dominate and have power, which they cannot get with a partner.

I know, how people get attached to their pets, and I have no right to expect, that somebody would separate from his dog for me. But even if I would accept to have a dog around for a while, it is just not practically possible. I do not live in an area fit for dogs. People's well being and health should be considered as priority over animals. In densely populated area, not only the streets should be kept clean from dog feces, but the parks should be reserved and respected as places for the recreation of people and clean places for children to play, when people live in apartments without a garden.
I live in a small house in the garden behind a row of five story buildings along both sides of the street. Neighbours with dogs have to spend half an hour twice a day to walk them to the nearest park, that is abused as a dog's toilet by many other people. Short of letting the dog soil the strawberry plants in my tiny garden, there would be no alternative but to do the same abuse of the park.

I will never get involved with a man, that is more than maybe three years younger. First of all, having grown up in the same time creates some kind of similarity. Secondly, I am not Maude and little Harolds better stay away from me. With a man of my age, we are on the same level of mutually learning and growing wiser together.
I do not want to be the wise old guru to a younger man. If a man is ten years younger, that means that I have spent ten years more of learning and maturing, therefore I cannot consider him an equal.

I have no problems to make friends and acquaintances, but somehow I feel so different in a world of breeders and believers and irrationality. Sometimes I just do not know, if I even want to spent my time with people, with whom I have not enough in common. So I tend to be a maverick and a recluse, not so much, because I want to be alone but for lack of people like me.