317. The Animality Quotient and Compatibility

The Animality Quotient and Compatibility

This continues entry 316.

Unfortunately, the knowledge about the force of animal instincts and the awareness for the detrimental effects upon the individual life in the general population is very limited.   People believe in the free will and in the power of healthy people to have complete self-control, and that behavior can be controlled by social rules and laws.    People judge others too much by their behavior without being aware of the motivation behind it.
People are generally considered as healthy, when they have sufficient self-control, else they are considered as mentally ill and deviant.  Deviance and mental dysfunction are rarely attributed to the virulence of the residue of animal instincts in the subconscious.   People are oblivious of how much their individual AQ (Animality Quotient) and UQ (Instinctive Urge Quotient) are determining their personality on a subconscious level and how much their personal instinctivity determines their identity.   

As long as people do not know any better, they project, they think, that others are like themselves.   Only with maturity and a high EQ do they gain awareness for differences and learn consideration for the needs of others.    This includes also the wide differences between needs as a consequence of the AQ.    Only when people project their instinctive needs, and their AQs are similar, then they have no problems.  

• A couple both having a low AQ can get bonded as intellectual companions and be happily devoted to each other.   
• A couple of both having a high AQ, where the man has high sexual needs and the woman an high urge to breed, ends often having the standard formal marriage:  The woman avoids the man's needs pretending headaches, the man cheats.  The woman is bonded to her children, and the man has a lot of stress working hard to earn the money for them all.
• When a woman with a low AQ makes the mistake of projecting by accepting a man with a high AQ for physical intimacy with the wrong assumption, that for him as for her it is the beginning of commitment, she gets hurt.  
• When a man with a high AQ makes the mistake of projecting his sexual needs on all women, he risks a lot of trouble, even legal for harrassment, and he gets a lot of rejection from all the women, whom he is insulting and offending.
• When a man with a low AQ makes the mistake of projecting this on a woman with a high AQ, he ends up being forced to work hard to provide for the unwanted children, which he got instead of the bonded companion.
• When a woman with a high AQ makes the mistake of projecting her urge to breed on a low AQ man, who wants a companion, she risks to become a single parents raising the children alone.

Therefore it is very important for people to have full awareness of the differences between people's AQs and of the strength their own AQ, so that they can make a wise choice of an AQ-compatible mate.   

Without full awareness, there is a big problem, when people judge others by their behavior and jump to conclusions about their attitudes and their ethical standards.   When I catch someone with a lie, this allows me to know, that he is principally a liar, I just do not know, how often.   As long as I never catch someone with a lie, I cannot know, if he really is never lieng and would not lie under different circumstances.   All I can do is estimate the probability of his honesty as high.  

It is the same with the high or low AQ.   When a woman sits on a bench in a park and a man approaches her, who makes unequivocal advances for the purpose of using her body, she can judge him as a high AQ person.
But when she sits on a bench, and a man approaches her starting an interesting conversation about a cultural topic, then she cannot know, why he does not treat her as prey.    From the absence of any high AQ behavior at that moment, she cannot know, if his AQ is really low or not. 

• He could be a truly low UQ man, who is genuinely just interested in talking with her.
• He could be a high UQ and low AQ person, whose instincts do get triggered, but his intellectual interest in the woman is really and innately higher.    He is intrinsically motivated not to be under the control of instincts, but to follow his intellectual inclinations.  
• He could be a high UQ person with a high AQ, but who acts under external reasons to restrain himself.   He could be religious and fearing the purgatory too much to allow himself his true inclinations.   He could be too scared of being rejected.   He could be married and talking to her while waiting for someone, who would tell his wife.   He could be someone hoping to make some money from a tourist.   

There can be many reasons, while a high AQ man behaves as if he were a low AQ man, and the more a woman is aware, the more she can avoid getting involved with an incompatible man.      

316. The Animality Quotient - AQ

The Animality Quotient - AQ

Sometimes, for example in entry 314, I may give the impression, as if I hated all men.   This is certainly not true.  This entire blog is about finding the man, who will be my mindmate.   Repulsive to me is all instinctivity, which is driving both men and women in a different way to use others for the purpose of breeding.  

My metaphor for human behavior is the speed of a car, which is determined by two contradictory forces, the gas and the break being pressed simultaneously.   In the brain, the animal instincts for procreation and all behavior leading to and enhancing procreation are like pressing the gas, while the rationality and cognition are pressing the break.   The relative strength of both forces is the individual's instinctivity determining either the speed towards breeding or the relaxed abstinence from breeding.  

Women's instinctivity focuses directly on breeding behavior including the mate choice for healthy genes and for good providers, while men's instinctivity focuses on spreading their genes ruthlessly.   Therefore the urges of instinctivity lead both genders to very different behaviors, detrimental for both, the individual's and the used other's wellbeing.


I assume, that the strength of instinctivity is distributed along a bell curve and that it can be defined by a quotient analogous to the IQ.   Statistically the Intelligence Quotient is an example of a very useful way of measuring a human trait.    It combines a linear scale with the distribution of the population along a bell curve.    100 divides the population in a lower and a higher half, and every 1 standard deviation is usually connected with 15 points on the linear scale, which thus goes from 40 as practically none (0.003%) to 160 as practically all (99.997%)

I will call the distribution of instinctivity along the bell curve the Animality Quotient AQ.   While there is neither a test nor any way to measure it, this does not diminish its value as a description.  
At one extreme end, there are the animals with the brain of a moron, who are automatically driven by their instincts.  At the other extreme end are the completely hypoanimalistic people, who are entirely guided by reason and logic, having no other instincts except those for self-preservation.     

The AQ is a net score and therefore a simplification of a more complex situation.    The AQ measures the difference between the force of the instinctive urges and the restraint by the combination of awareness and self-control.   In the car metaphor, it is the speed resulting from the combined forces of the break and the gas.   

The innate strength of only the instinctive urges is also distributed along a bell curve.   But when assuming an UQ as the instinctive Urge Quotient, a person can have an UQ very different from the AQ.  
A man with a low AQ has little inclinations to use a woman's body for the restoring of homeostasis.  But this does not determine, if such a man can get emotionally bonded and attached by entering physical intimacy or not.   Someone with an AQ of 70 can be either someone with an UQ also of 70, who is just relaxed and not bothered, lacking any need for restraining, what is not there.  Or he can be someone with an UQ of 130 but who is fascinated and interested in intellectual and creative pursuits, and who perceives his instincts as annoying.  He uses self-control and restraint in favor of what is really important to him.  

Therefore a low AQ is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for a man to be able to get intrinsically committed.    In my metaphor of the car, there is also the stirring wheel determining the direction of the behavior.   One direction is the selfish use of others as utilities and commodities, which is innate and also a part of the animal nature, the other direction can be chosen, if there is enough force of the IQ and EQ.   

His IQ enables a man to appreciate and to enjoy the intellectual qualities of a woman and value her brain more than her body.   His EQ enables him to have empathy, responsibility and consideration for her as a person and to be guided by ethics.   Having a high EQ, a man does not consider a woman as a commodity, and by never starting promiscuity, he never loses his ability to get bonded.   

The combination of a low AQ and high IQ and EQ are the determinants for intrinsic commitment.  Men and women with the ability for intrinsic commitment have more in common than have men with this ability with men lacking it, and it is the same for women.

I admit that I loathe the instinct driven animalistic men, but I also have not much sympathy for instinct driven women.  But I do have a very high appreciation, respect and regard for those rare men, who are able to commit intrinsically.