I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

314. Mating Strategies - The Instinctive And The Intellectual Paradigm

By now, I have been writing over 300 entries in this blog, and the number of page views per day due to being found in Google is not growing.   Therefore I attempted to get more publicity by joining articlesbase, where I published entre 287 with a link to this blog.    Some hours later, my text had been copied to more than a dozen sites.    But I was not really prepared for the discovery, that my text would be presented in dubious places between texts favoring the degradation of women.   This has instigated me to write the following strong text in favor of monogamy and respect for women and also publish it on articlesbase.    

Mating Strategies - The Instinctive And The Intellectual Paradigm

When men's instincts are awakened, when they drool over women's bodies, when they are in need to restore their sexual homeostasis, their reasoning capacity gets blurred and they become irresponsible animals.    They regress to the primitive state of predators, whose temporarily dysfunctional brains are entirely focused upon one goal: how to acquire the use of a woman's body.   If they are not as successful as their instinctivity urges them, they become manipulators and jerks.   
Some poor misguided fools even invest money in jerk-training.   They call themselves euphemistically pick-up-artists (PUA), but PUA really stands for pick-up-animals, because of their lack of one basic human quality: the ability to respect a woman.  I call them emotional psychopaths, because they feel entitled to be ruthless predators.  Those jerks are repugnant to decent women, but they are oblivious of this.   

Unfortunately, these jerks are encouraged by foolish women.   If all women had the wisdom to reject jerks as pathetic and ludicrous, they would have a reason to learn to respect women.  
A foolish woman derives her identify primarily from the quality of her body.   She feels good about herself, as long as she believes herself to be a beauty, but she is not bothered, if she drops out from high school.  A foolish woman accepts her role as prey, she does not feel indignation, instead she feels flattered.   A foolish woman attempts to trigger men's most primitive instincts by purposefully running around half naked in provocative attire and by flirtatious behavior.   She even takes pride in triggering a man's instincts.   
Such a woman is as pathetic and ludicrous as the jerk.   She has the delusion, that by getting a man infatuated with her body, she motivates him to marry her and to spend the rest of his life with her.   She is naive and mistaken.    As soon as the jerk has restored his homeostasis, he gets aware, that she is only an insignificant commodity for him.    As far as stupidity is concerned, predator and prey are a match, but the predator enjoys his triumph, the prey suffers.    As predator and prey, they both lack dignity.
When the instincts take temporary control over a man, the breeding instinct is the true driving force behind the sexual instinct.   Two bodies check each other's quality for healthy offspring, while any consideration for long-term individual happiness is temporarily in oblivion.    A jerk is promiscuous, he wants to spread his genes.  Once he had succeeded to gain the temporary control over the prey, he restarts his hunt for a new prey.

Wise women do the exact contrary of the demeanor of foolish women, because they derive their identity from their intellect.  A wise woman presents herself with an anti-sexy exterior, she does not flirt, she does everything possible to avoid and discourage men from getting infatuated with her body.     Her priority is to be respected, valued, appreciated as an equal partner.   For her it is of paramount importance, that her well functioning brain and her intellectual competence are of higher value to a man than her body.     A wise woman chooses a man for intrinsic commitment, bonding, closeness, she wants to be a man's valued companion and confident.  
A wise woman does not allow a man access to her body, unless he deserves it by respecting her personality, she insists to create emotional and intellectual intimacy, before she allows physical intimacy as the sealing of the bond.  
A wise woman needs a wise man, who is hypoanimalistic, who is not a blind slave of his instincts, but who is controlled by his brain, and who also derives his identity from his intellectual, emotional and moral qualities.   A wise man is monogamous, because monogamy gives him the joy of bonding.   He wants to be human and he agrees with the woman in her disdain for promiscuous studs as animals.   A wise man does not hurt a woman's dignity, she does not need to protect it.

We live in times, where the human brain has invented the most amazing things, like pictures from Mars, cell phones, relativity theory and reliable birth control.   But instinct driven jerks and foolish women still behave as if they are cave people 500.000 years ago.