I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

30. The Contrary of the ERCP is Becoming a Pet-With-Benefits

The Contrary of the ERCP is Becoming a Pet-With-Benefits

Imagine a man, who has a dog, and this describes some typical aspects of the relationship of a man and a dog:

- The man considers himself the master of the dog, who has to submit in obedience, he has power over the dog and might even have the dog mainly for the purpose to have power over someone.  
- Dogs are not born docile, they undergo some kind of dog training, until they accept their inferior role to their master.  Any resistance of the dog justifies in the master's mind any attempt to break his will, included hurting as punishment.
- Dogs are acquired once, brought under the control of their master and made docile by dog training.  From then on, dogs show unconditional and unlimited devotion to their masters, no matter how bad and cruelly they are treated.  The master sees no reason or motivation to earn or deserve the dog's love.   He feels entitled to the dog's eternal devotion.
- He decides, what is good for the dog, and expects the dog's affection in return.  He considers himself to be the one having the better brain.  He believes to know, what is good for the dog, and then he uses his power to force his decisions upon the dog.
- He feels responsible to keep the dog fed, sheltered and cared for by the vet, but nothing else, because a dog is nobody having emotional or intellectual needs.  The dog is a body without a mind. 
- He decides, by what name to call the dog, and then he as the master expects the dog to listen to that name. 
- The dog barks, and it is the master's task to observe the dog and interpret his behavior to find out, what he wants or needs.  
- He plays with the dog, only when he wants to.   He expects to get the dog's attention, whenever he wants it.   During the rest of the time, the dog is supposed to wait patiently and humbly in his kennel. 
- Some people allow their pets to sleep in their beds, he is one of them.

Now imagine, that this man replaces his dog with a woman.   No reason to pity the dog, who finds a good home with some family, where there are other dogs.  

But becoming a pet-with-benefits is a tale of woe for the pitiable woman.