I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

142. The Sufferings of the Jerk

The Sufferings of the Jerk

Jerks make their victims suffer.  But they also suffer themselves.   They feel entitled to get everything for free and they take for granted, whatever they get, without any gratitude.    This works fine for them, as long as they are lucky to be in a situation of having power.  
Otherwise they get nothing.   No matter, how much they themselves feel entitled, this is of no consequence. Those, who disagree with their entitlement delusion, just give them nothing.   When they have shown no gratitude nor appreciation in the past, people stop giving them anything.  

When jerks get nothing, they have no clue, why.   Mature people know, that beyond basic human rights, they are entitled to nothing, except they earn it and they refrain from forfeiting it.   They are aware of the connection between what the do and what they get. 

When a mature man wants something, for example the advantages of being in a relationship with a woman, he knows, that he has to earn it by doing, what in the perception of the woman makes him someone deserving and worthwile to be with.  

When a jerk wants something, for example the advantages of being in a relationship with a woman, he feels entitled to get it, as if the woman owes him a relationship, just because he wants it.   When she rejects him or leaves him, he feels the victim of an outrage.   He is helpless and has no clue.   In his mind, what he does and what he gets, are independent events.

Many jerks often do not get, what they want.  The spot in the brain, where mature people have the option to earn something, is void in the jerk's brain.    Then jerks get depressed, angry, bitter, frustrated at an allegedly hostile world denying them their entitlements.   Jerks do suffer, but as long as they blame it on others, they are doomed to continue.  

It is possible to have compassion and pity with a jerk while staying at a safe distance out of his reach.   Any attempt to help or support is dangerous and futile, because getting near him triggers automatically his vampire nature.   He does not appreciate support as voluntary but as finally someone giving him, what he feels entitled to.  

A jerk is like an animal with a splinter in its paw.   The pet bites the person, who touches the splinter, because this causes additional pain.  The pet has no insight, that the person wants to help by removing the splinter. 
The jerk harms the person, who attempts to teach him, how to earn, what he wants.   The person touches his entitlement delusion.    The jerk has no insight, that the attempt to remove his entitlement delusion is the support to get fulfilment for his more vital human needs.