I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

135. How Jerks Buy Licenses For Transgressions

How Jerks Buy Licenses For Transgressions

In Sevilla and some places nearby in southern Spain, every year in the spring, the Semana Santa is celebrated.   There are fraternities affiliated with every church.  During that week, every fraternity performs a procession, that can last up to 14 hours.   On a heavy float, the main figure from the church is carried by men underneath.   Other men march, with a costume and a hood covering their faces, barefoot, carrying one or several heavy wooden crosses over their shoulders and very expensive huge candles.

They pretend to do penance for their sins.    In reality, they buy the license for more transgressions in the future.   During the previous year, they may have cheated on their wives or beaten them, they may have gambled or spent money on alcohol, while the family was lacking the funds for a decent life, they may have indulged in other serious moral transgressions.   
They experience their 14 hours of marching through the city as an act of undoing all the harm and hurting, they have done during an entire year.   Afterwards they feel free with a clean slate to restart doing the same or other transgressions again.   They feel free to do so, because they know, that a year later, they will annihilate their transgressions again.  
They also consider it a duty of the victims of the transgressions to forgive them as if they had never been illtreated and wronged, and many of the victims themselves are brainwashed by their religion to comply.  

It is a weird thinking.   Nobody of them would expect to be released by marching in a procession from financial debts when owing money to the bank.   But they take it for granted, that the victims release them from all moral debts. 

This is an extreme version of this kind of thinking.   But it is not very different from the jerk, who cheats on his wife, and then buys her a diamond ring or a fur coat and believes, that this way he has compensated for the transgression, as if he had bought the right to be forgiven.

In my opinion, these men are jerks and wimps.   They buy themselves the easy way out.   Learning better self-control, learning how to resist temptations to hurt others would cost them much more effort, strain and unpleasant time than a procession once a year or an expensive gift.