I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

151. Embarrassment


Some time ago I went with someone to visit a museum.    Since he had a university degree, I thought, that he was an intelligent person.  
But when we handed our bags in to be stored, and got the luggage tag number 13, he refused it.   I was stunned, for a moment I could not believe my own ears and eyes.    He was such a moron, not only did he refuse the number, but he seemed not even to feel embarrassed about it.   
He rejected that number tag without any hesitation, just as others would reject a plate of soup with a fly in it in a restaurant.   

Some people get brainwashed as children to fear the number 13, but grow into adults knowing that it is nonsense and even if they feel uncomfortable, they are wise enough to hide it and to fight against it.  

He did not feel ashamed or embarrassed at all.   But I did, just for being in the company of such a moron.   I admit, that the person handing the tag was not of such importance, as I will not see her again.   But somehow I do not feel comfortable with people, who make a fool of themselves, while I want to respect them.

People, who feel embarrassed and ashamed of their own behavior, have a reason to improve it for the purpose of feeling better about themselves.    Some need the feedback of others to be even aware, that they have a reason to feel embarrassed.   But they can learn.     But a person, who does stupid or gross actions and does not feel embarrassed is doomed to make no improvement.   The whole world may consider him as weird wacko and a moron, only he himself has no clue.  

Later on I asked him, why he he rejected the number 13 and he came up with some lame excuse about being reminded of some unpleasant old woman.   Obviously, he did not want to talk about his real reasons.   He deprived himself of the chance to learn, how others perceive his behavior.

My mindmate is someone, who has enough perception for his own behavior so that he avoids making a fool of himself in public.    Therefore I do not have to feel ashamed to be with him.    Some women want a man to be proud of, I am much more modest, I just want someone, who does not embarrass me.