I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

141. Learning Theory Explaining the Behavior of Jerks

Learning Theory Explaining the Behavior of Jerks
Jerks lack a conscience, that guides their behavior by the intrinsic motivation to live in accordance with their ethical values.   As far as the behavior of a jerk is influenced by anything except his own selfish needs, wishes and whims, it is influenced by rewards and punishments.

A jerk does not get any reward from treating a woman well.   He coerces all advantages, that he is interested in getting from a woman, out of her.    He is oblivious of the additional benefits, that a mature caring man could get by treating her the way, she wishes to be treated.  
As explained in 2.3. of entry 140, he needs to perceive her alleged or real flaws to proof his own superiority to himself and to her.   Therefore treating her badly gains him the reward of further evidence of her alleged inferiority.   

But he never gets any punishment for treating a woman badly, as long as she is with him.   He gets no reward for treating her well, he gets rewarded for treating her badly.    Therefore treating her as he does is perfectly logical based on the attitudes that are the premises of a jerk.  

The only punishment, that he ever gets, is when she leaves him.    Even then, he may explain it with any reason except his own behavior.    

But even if he is capable to have the full insight, that she left, because of his inappropriate treatment, even then she has no chance for any improvement.    She cannot take him back with the illusion, that he has learned his lesson and will treat her better in the future.   
Because if she would, she would annihilate the punishment.   He would interpret it as if his behavior had not been that bad, and he would continue to mistreat her as before.  

A jerk is not guided by morals, and a woman with no influence on him by either rewarding or punishing for how he treats her, has no way to improve her fate while with him.     A woman, who takes a jerk back, is a fool.  

Scientists has developed brain implants for Parkinson's and for some other problems.   Maybe one day they can also develop a brain implant of a conscience for jerks.