I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

606. Discovering And Developing Preferences

606.   Discovering And Developing Preferences

I just read this, but I disagree with the interpretations.

"You're in a store, trying to choose between similar shirts, one blue and one green. You don't feel strongly about one over the other, but eventually you decide to buy the green one. You leave the store and a market researcher asks you about your purchase and which shirt you prefer. Chances are that you'd say you prefer the green one, the shirt you actually chose. As it turns out, this choice-induced preference isn't limited to shirts. Whether we're choosing between presidential candidates or household objects, research shows that we come to place more value on the options we chose and less value on the options we rejected.

One way of explaining this effect is through the idea of cognitive dissonance. Making a selection between two options that we feel pretty much the same about creates a sense of dissonance -- after all, how can we choose if we don't really prefer one option over the other? Re-evaluating the options after we've made our choice may be a way of resolving this dissonance."

"They were then presented with pairs of similar vacation destinations and asked to choose which destination they would prefer. "

"The results suggest that the act of choosing between two similar options can lead to enduring changes in preference. Participants rated vacation destinations as more desirable both immediately after choosing them and again three years later. "

"Sharot and her colleagues argue that fact that this effect is robust and enduring has implications for a diverse array of fields, including economics, marketing, and even interpersonal relationships. As Sharot points out, for example, repeatedly endorsing a particular political party may entrench this preference for a long period of time."

The quoted article concerns preferences expressed by a decision.   The preference for one color of a shirt over another is the decision what to buy and does not automatically represent a possible preference for one of the colors by itself.  

I doubt that a more or less haphazard choice leads to changing a preference.   The choice of a green shirt does not suffice for a change towards experiencing green as the favorite color. Making a choice is a decision process leading to discover or to develop a preference.   This process includes getting aware and considering the pros and contras of all options from either the memory or by obtaining additional external information.     The result of making a rational choice by this process is then remembered.    It is not a changed preference, but one either newly acquired or a previously existing one rationally reinforced or enhanced. 

People are often not consciously aware of pros and contras concerning any issues and matters, until circumstances for the first time require a specific choice.   This then triggers some thinking and reasoning, which leads to discovering or developing the preference.  

1.  Someone may spontaneously not prefer a green over a blue shirt.   This is an example of basing a decision upon getting aware of reasons in favor of one of the colors by retrieving them from the memory.   Such reasons could be the color of the majority of the trousers to be worn in combination with the shirt, the color of other shirts in the wardrobe or the favorite color of the partner. 
2.  Someone may spontaneously not prefer one vacation destination over another.   This is also a case of remembering reasons like a favorite national dish or music.  But this is additionally a case for not being able to choose until obtaining sufficient information about the availability of especially interesting places for sightseeing.   

3.  The more complex and abstract a choice, the less someone can have an initial strong preference before getting informed.   This is the case with political parties.   Ignorance and manipulations by propaganda do not lead to a persistent and qualified preference.    Only if a subjectively informed decision has been reached by learning something about the parties, this can cause a preference to persist after having voted. 

In entry 590 I declared myself as opinionated.   Opinions are preferences, which can be either expressed by the behavior of making a choice or it can merely exist as a predisposition for a specific choice.

Writing over 600 blog entries about my preferences of who is compatible and suitable as a mindmate is the result of a lot of thinking, pondering, and reflecting.   While I am blogging for the purpose to be found by my mindmate, as a side effect I got more and more conscious of the reasons behind my preferences.   The awareness for my reasons enabled and enables me to evaluate them rationally.   Better understanding my reasons made me also more certain and more confident and this reinforces my preferences.