I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

633. Science Suggesting The Importance Of Relationship Maintenance

633.   Science Suggesting The Importance Of Relationship Maintenance

When men driven by sexual dishomeostasis choose those female bodies, which trigger the strongest infatuation in disregard of women's personalities, and when women driven by the urges of the procreation instinct choose suitable providers by physical fitness and assets in disregard of men's personalities, relationships are doomed to fail.

According to this source, relationships need maintenance, which requires cognitive human qualities far outside of the scope of instinctive behavior.    Animals copulate and procreate, but humans use their cognition to create and maintain bonding and attachment.
"Relationships are like cars in that you have do certain things to keep them running, especially when your goal is to strengthen and preserve your bond with your partner,"

"The research showed that openness, positivity, assurances, shared tasks, and a shared social network are strategies that couples can use to make their relationship better,"

"To "open up" your relationship, the researchers encouraged not only talking about your feelings but getting your partner to talk about what she is feeling as well. "

"It's also important to assure your partner that you're in the relationship for the long haul, to divide household chores and responsibilities equally, and to make an effort to include your partner's friends and family in some of your activities,"

"Persons who use any of these maintenance strategies will not only be more satisfied with and committed to their relationship, they are also likely to continue to love and, yes, even like each other throughout its duration,"

"These approaches had the most influence on the quality of the relationship when persons believed their partner was also performing relationship maintenance,"

"The study suggests that what you do doesn't matter as much as whether the things you're doing are noticed by your partner."