quest


I am a woman of 64 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:
marulaki@hotmail.com


The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.


Thursday, December 6, 2012

624. The Color Red Enhances Male Disagreeableness

624.   The Color Red Enhances Male Disagreeableness

Elsewhere on this blog I have already been complaining about the disheartening experiences of disgust and repugnance, when too often during my younger years I was approached by jerks planing to abuse my body.   

According to the following study, I may have innocently contributed to bring this upon myself by following my own taste and sometimes wearing red items of clothing.   Obviously this suffices to reinforce predators' insulting attentions.  
"But it's clear that women should beware, Pazda says. Even seemingly insignificant wardrobe choices can send out a lot of unintended signals. "Wearing red may be a double-edged sword," he says. Women "may be getting sexual attention they don't want." "

http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2012/02/the-red-dress-effect.html

I have never in my life used lipstick or any other painting substance to modify my looks.   I consciously avoid any own contribution to trigger male instincts by never adding the slightest seductive signals to my exterior.   I want to base the decision for or against a relationship upon a rational evaluation of matching criteria.   Attempts to seduce me are a nuisance.  

But I need clothing to cover my body.  People except the blind and color blind automatically see everything including items of clothing as having one specific color distinct from any other.   Whenever buying a garment, I am forced to choose its color.  
I like bright colors, no matter if it is red, blue, green, orange, yellow or any other.   Whenever all garments have about the same price, I would spontaneously buy the bright colored one and consider anything brown, white, gray, beige or such as not worth wasting my money.   
Therefore red is and has regularly been one of those bright colors of the contents of my wardrobe.    


I had the illusion, that wearing t-shirts and sweat-shirts of large sizes, nontransparent and closed to the neck would be enough to avoid sending out wrong signals.   I did not think, that the color mattered too.   

The above cited study shows, how much I was wrong. 
"They showed 25 men a photo of a single woman doctored to look, in different cases, like she was wearing either a red or white T-shirt. The researchers then asked the volunteers to gauge, on a scale from 1 to 9, .......the men answered the question: "Is she interested in sex?"

"Men interpreted the red outfit as a signal that the woman was indeed more open to sexual advances. In fact, the guys tended to grade the woman's disposition to sex about 1 to 1.5 points higher when she was wearing a red rather than a white tee,"
I used to have a red handbag, until staying at some location I was warned, that red handbags were there the identification mark of prostitutes.    I disliked to be deprived from using an article, which I liked, but then I did not suspect red as being generally such a hazard.  

When being non-seductive and non-sexy is a baseline, it is easy to refrain from any proactive behavior, which would anyhow bring no benefits.   Abstaining from body modification towards appearing more seductive only has the additional advantage of saving time and money for someone abhorring attempts to be seduced.  
But to be mistaken for prey by doing nothing more than allowing oneself to follow one's own color preferences is another case of how male instincts make the life of women miserable.   Male physiology damages women's freedom to choose her preferred colors.