I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Monday, September 3, 2012

584. Rejection And Objectification

584.   Rejection And Objectification

The more someone is valued and appreciated as a person, the more a rejection by this person hurts.   Experiencing such rejections is a reason to select carefully, whom to approach as a method to preclude avoidable rejections.

This is not only the case in real life, but also when initiating contact on the internet.   

Of course, there is no justification to take a rejection by a complete stranger personally.   The contacted person rejects not the unknown real personality of the contacting one, but merely the apparent impression and perception as presented by the profile. 
But this is principally a rejection of a person by a person, even when the rejected person only exists as a distorted imagination.

Many men contact women in a haphazard and indiscriminate way, without even reading profiles, taking not at all for serious, what the women want.   As a result, they get rejected very often.   Yet this seems not at all to bother or discourage them, they continue as if being rejected had no impact upon them.   

I have got aware of the probable reason.   While women reject these men as unsuitable, or even as weird and foolish for even trying the unattainable, these men do not experience the refusal as being rejected by a person.  
They are like hunters, who have attempted to shoot a rabbit and missed.   Such hunters do not feel rejected by the rabbit, they merely experience this as the failure to have hit one target, which requires to move on and try the next.   They may interpret the rejections as being themselves losers, failures, clumsy, but it is all about have missed to gain access to the use of an object.   Women are no subjects in this, only hunted objects.

They are predators hunting prey, not humans in search of a companion.   
Whenever predators objectify women by hunting them as prey, this automatically precludes their feeling rejected when they fail.    
Whenever men lack to feel rejected, this indicates objectification.