I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

592. Abhorring Strong Instincts Is Very Different From Hating Men

592.   Abhorring Strong Instincts Is Very Different From Hating Men

I have been criticized for hating men.   This is a complete misunderstanding.    I am only aware, how men's instincts cause serious damage to women and I consider women being harmed and abused as an outrage and not as the purpose of women's existence.  

There is something awfully wrong, where and when this is the case:
"One in five U.S women experiences a sexual assault in their lifetimes."
The source of this statement is not given.   The US are also only one example of a world wide problem.  I know of no country anywhere on this earth, where women are sufficiently protected.  Men harming women is so ubiquitous, that while it serves the survival of the species, it is clearly a biological flaw of men, when seen from the perspective of women's subjective experience as victims and not as wombs.   
But even if the number were exaggerated and not as many as one in five, any incidence of women being harmed by male urges for homeostation clearly indicates, that male sexuality is too often out of proportion of what would be beneficial for women.   The stronger men's instinctive needs for using women's bodies, the worse and more hazardous they are.   

Too many men are real threats to women.   But saying 'too many' is not the same as saying 'all'. 
Loathing, abhorring and despising those male instincts, which harm women, is very different from generally hating men for being men.   I do not define a man by masculinity as expressed by instincts, but by his chromosomes.   
I disagree with the fallacy, that masculinity were an indicator of the quality of a man.  Masculinity only indicates, how much a man is dangerous and a threat.   I refuse to consider being a dangerous threat as a quality.    

Some men are determined by their cognition.   They are decent, pleasant nice guys with an attractive personality, because they are monogamous, bonding, caring, reliable, trustworthy, responsible, considerate, rational, intellectual, emotional, moral.   In short, they are free from being robots programmed and driven by overwhelming and instinctive urges.   They are free to be cognitively true humans, not merely male animals of the species homo sapiens.  

I appreciate such cognitive nice guys very much.   They are rare and precious.   I am looking for one of them as my mindmate.   I am not worried, that my alleged hatred of men would deter or discourage any of them.     
Any man interpreting me as if hating men, is himself not suitable as a mindmate.  He is most probably himself someone, who confounds being a man with being driven by male instincts. Either the worst male instincts are a positive part of his own identity or he is at least misguided to strife to become like instinct driven role models.  Being misunderstood by such a man makes not difference to me, because I would not want him anyway. 
But my mindmate to be found will be intelligent enough to understand me and to identify with being cognitive.   Therefore he will spontaneously agree with my abhorrence of strong instincts, he will be pleased to read, that I appreciate him, because he is not driven by instincts.