I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, August 12, 2011

372. Interconnectedness, Asperger's and Social Contact

Interconnectedness, Asperger's and Social Contact
In entry 371 I attempted to explain, why some people feel interconnectedness, even though for me personally, it is something difficult to grasp, since I have never felt it.    I do not feel interconnected with people due to a common native language, nor due to having the same passport, nor due to inhabiting the same territory.    Even less do I feel interconnected with the human species or any elusive higher power.   
I only feel connected to individuals, when I know them personally and with whom I have something of personal importance in common.   The more there is in common, the more I feel connected.   I can only feel connected and bonded with a man, when there is mental, ethical and intellectual compatibility.   Without feeling bonded, there is no reason to have a relationship.   

When I choose to interact with people, I do it, because they as individuals interest me, because talking to them is catching my attention and listening to them is informative.    But I am not by some elusive feeling of interconnectedness attracted to haphazard persons, just because they are humans.   If people are dull and boring, then I better spend my time reading a good book rather than with them.  There is no reason, why I should for example suffer boredom with those women, whose only interest is fashion, cooking and children.    Children bore me too, the younger the more.   The older people are, the more mature they are as a consequence of their life experience, the more they interest me.

There are many people, who are considered as recluses, mavericks, loners and often prejudiced as allegedly unable to have a social life.    In reality, they are educated, intelligent, rational and void of the diffuse need for interconnectedness and just as picky as I am, opting for quality in their choice of with whom to spend their time.   Being different from the majority, they would have much more of a social life, if there were more like minded people, with whom interaction interests them.  They can do without lots of superficial friends and acquaintances, if they have one close, bonded and connected mindmate to be with.    

I certainly do not meet the clinical criteria of Asperger's syndrome.    But I do share the personality traits of being rational and skeptical to the bone, and of being void of interconnectedness.   Therefore I feel some affinity with aspies.    Several times I felt attracted to a man's profile, whom I then discovered to be an aspie, either officially diagnosed or by his own evaluation.    
I am fully aware, how much a relationship with an aspie can be difficult.   But I would rather consider a rational and non-breeding aspie as a partner, while I certainly reject all breeders and all irrational believers, no matter, what they belief in.