I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

525. My Wish For A Jerkoscanner

525.  My Wish For A Jerkoscanner

Along with the myth of the free will, I have given up all illusions, that the difference between drooling over a woman's body and appreciating a woman's personality as a companion were men's conscious free decisions.   This difference is determined by the man's innate needs and instinctive urges and his individual sensitivity to what stimulates the pleasure center of his brain.   

When men drool over women's objectified bodies, their cognition is deactivated and they are not any better than animals, they are just instinct driven robots.   
When men love a woman's personality, they are on an evolutionary level above being animals, because to love a person requires enough cognition to be able to appreciate this person's non-physical qualities.  

As either drooling or appreciating is outside the realm of men's decision, it is even more outside the realm of women's influence.    It is a dangerous illusion, when women hope to gain a drooling man's appreciation as persons by compliance with being used.    

Wise women valuing their dignity reject being objectified by the drooling animals.   Instead they choose those men, by whom they are needed and wanted as companions.   

Unfortunately for these women, it is often difficult or impossible to distinguish by his observable behavior between a man's true level of what attracts him.  Mistaking men's animal drooling for love and commitment is one of the biggest hazards for women.  

There are good news:  While the behavior may be misleading, the brain tells the truth.

"Love and sexual desire activate different areas of the striatum. The area activated by sexual desire is usually activated by things that are inherently pleasurable, such as sex or food. The area activated by love is involved in the process of conditioning by which things paired with reward or pleasure are given inherent value. That is, as feelings of sexual desire develop into love, they are processed in a different place in the striatum."

In an ideal world, a woman could send a man to get a brain scan before she allows him to touch her.    This way he could prove to her, that he deserves her by dignified love, in contrast to being merely an unworthy animal attempting to abuse her objectified body.   

But we do not live in an ideal world, but in one, where women too often only find out, that a man is unworthy of her, when it is too late, when she already has made the mistake of getting involved, due to confounding his objectification of her body with apparent but lacking commitment. 

Sending a man to get a brain scan is theoretically and technically possible.   But if I were to have a science fiction fantasy about the perfect world, a woman would invent an instrument called the 'Jerkoscanner'.  This would be a portable and affordable brain scanner, which women could use on men's heads before getting involved.   
The Jerkoscanner would warn her, if a man's apparent interest in her person is nothing better than his strategy of manipulation and seduction caused by his drooling for the body.