I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

527. Objectification And The Empathy Gap

527.  Objectification And The Empathy Gap

"A hot-cold empathy gap is a cognitive bias in which a person underestimates the influences of visceral drives, and instead attributes behavior primarily to other, nonvisceral factors."

"The crux of this idea is that human understanding is "state dependent"."

"Implications of the empathy gap were explored in the realm of sexual decision-making, where young men in an unaroused "cold state" failed to predict that in an aroused "hot state" they will be more likely to make risky sexual decisions,"

But this works also in the inverted situation, when they make risky sexual decision, which are risky not for themselves as predators, but for their unfortunate victims.
Men, who are driven by a high physiological urge of sexual dishomeostasis are often void of all empathy for those women, who are free of such an urge, but who crave instead for attachment and bonding.   Due to this empathy gap, some such men even have the delusion of their implicating women as instruments for their homeostation as being equally beneficial for the women.   These men are clueless, that in reality the women experience this implication as objectification and abuse.   They are unable to realistically evaluate the amount of pain, harm and even trauma, which they force upon the objectified women deprived of the reciprocity of commitment.

Outright jerks are dangerous beyond remedy, when they objectify women's bodies ruthlessly and with no consideration or responsibility.

As a consequence of the empathy gap, it is possible, that some men commodify women even though they do wish to be responsible and considerate.   They are so much caught in the biological trap of their instinctive urges, that when they use a woman's body without getting attached, this is due to their fallacy of not only assuming, but taking for granted the alleged reciprocity of the objectification by consent.  
Being tragically afflicted with their deficit of the emotional response of getting automatically attached by physical intimacy, their lack of empathy causes them to remain completely unaware of the devastation done to those women led on to onesided attachment before being dumped. 
Their objectification and commodification of women as a fallacy due to the empathy gap is a deficit in these men's education and maturation.   This fallacy is perpetuated by the fatality, that the afflicted men do not suffer themselves, instead imposing the suffering upon the women.    This fallacy is additionally enhanced by the social norm of the oversexation of society and the empathy is further damaged by the desensitization following the oversexation.