I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, August 20, 2010

54. Classification of Men

I got feedback in an email, which deserves a careful reply in a blog entry, as soon as I have the permission to quote it.   
As part of this reply, I put here a text from my late msn group written in 2006:

Classification of Men

As a result of my internet contacts, and simplifying a bit, I can put men into a few categories, looking at the relative strength of cerebrality and instinctivity as determinants of their behaviour and attitude towards women.

Instinctivity:   The force of all instincts, directly or indirectly aiming at optimized results of procreation.    Men with high instinctivity are victims of the urge to promiscuity and cheating in the form of casual copulations like stray dogs at any opportunity.    The amount of instinctivity seems to be genetically hardwired.

Cerebrality:  The combination of intelligence and rationality, which can be either enhanced by an adequate amount of formal education and knowledge, or impaired by lack of them.   

Therefore, innate instinctivity can be so strong, that it deactivates any cerebrality as a factor in the decision for the goals of behaviour.   When innate instinctivity is weak, then a sufficiently developed cerebrality can have an impact on goals and decisions.
When instinctvity is stronger then cerebrality, it serves as a tool for acting out the instincts.   When cerebrality is stronger, instincts are controlled to not disturb or impede long term benefits for the self and others.   
The resulting behavioural inclination then is modified by other influences like education, circumstances and opportunities, social control and fear of sanctions.  

Instinctivity and cerebrality are both probably distributed as bell curves, and the combination of both would therefore form a three-dimensional bell curve, the form of a bell.   But maybe it is not a bell curve, but a form with the peak nearer to high instinctivity and low cerebrality. 

Each is thus a continuum, but for simplifying and categorizing, I am going to look at each as either low, medium or high.

Category 1 are the men of low instinctivity combined with low and medium cerebrality and also those of medium instinctivity and medium cerebrality, in those cases, where cerebrality and other influences together are stronger than instinctivity.
They are nice and decent, but no match for me.

Category 2 are the men of high instinctivity combined with low and medium cerebrality, and also those of medium instinctivity and medium cerebrality, in those cases, where instinctivity and other influences together are stronger than the cerebrality.
They are disgusting and I do not want any kind of contact with them.   Fortunately they are usually easy to recognize, as they are rarely mistaken for any of the categories 3 and 4.

Category 3 are the men of low instinctivity and high cerebrality.    They are as precious as they are rare, I want to find one of them.    Lucky the women, who are with one of them.   They are the winners in the lottery of life.

Category 4 are the men of medium instinctivity and high cerebrality.    Most of them are as good and decent as those of category 3.   Yet under extreme influences and circumstances, for some of them instincts can be strong enough to temporarily gain control, so there is a risk of them regressing to stray-dog copulation.   They need to be very carefully known before trusting them, but they deserve an attempt to get to know them.

Category 5 are the men of high instinctivity and high cerebrality, but mainly honest and with a minimum of ethics. 
As a first superficial impression from very appealing profiles and interesting emails, they appear intelligent, educated, cultivated, refined, wise, so they give the illusion of belonging to category 4 or even 3.  But after a while it turns out that in spite of all this they are so much victims of their instincts, that they are as disgusting stray dogs as those of category 2.  Unfortunately it needs some contact to find out, which quite often leads to frustration and deception, even if this is only by email.   
As long as they are honest, this does not take too long, so the contact with them is unpleasant, but there is no real damage done by them.   

Category 6 are similar to those of category 5, but they are lacking honesty and ethics.   They are a big hazard.   They are the worst of all, because they ruthlessly use their cerebrality to serve their instincts by lying, tricking, manipulating women into becoming the degraded objects of their stray dog copulation, while the women are made to believe in being at the beginning of a serious relationship.    It takes to be very alert and careful to avoid ever getting near any one of them.    The refraining from easy trust, which is indispensable because of them, also disturbs the contact with good men, who feel rightfully hurt by the lack of trust.