I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

401. Monogamy And Intelligence - 2

Monogamy And Intelligence - 2

In entry 399, I have already quoted 
"Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, said the smarter a man is, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner."

Looking at it by considering the stimulation of the pleasure center in the brain (entries 388 and 389), this makes sense and can be easily explained.  

My age cohort here in Germany was about equally divided at the age of around 10 by their subsequent schooling in one of three groups.  
Group H:  About one third went to high education leading to university.
Group M:  About one third went to a middle level of education of ten years of schooling      
Group L:   About one third went to the lowest level of education of eight years of schooling

To show the contrast, I am comparing, what happens in the pleasure center of two prototypes, one is ManH from group H, and the other is ManL from group L.   

ManL leaves school at the age of 14.  He then either starts manual labor or learns a craft or trade.   In his short time of schooling, he learns basic skills, but it does not prepare him for the enjoyment of intellectual activities.   
He spends his leisure time with sports, drinking with his buddies, watching superficial stuff on TV.   He is inclined to compete with others to buy status symbols like a fancy car.   He may even work over time to be able to afford this, therefore he may also be too tired to ever be interested in anything intellectually challenging.    Lacking any intellectual accomplishments, for such a man his body and its instinctive use is his major source for self-esteem.   
In short, besides food, sexuality is the biggest stimulus for his pleasure center in his else rather dull life, because there is nothing else available.   Logically he easily gets infatuated with a woman and often he marries her, who is not any more educated than him.   She lives a different life interested in children, cooking, household and fashion.   
When the infatuation wears off, she turns to her offspring, the man starts to get less stimulation from being with her, and his instincts trigger his relapse into the promiscuous predator cheating whenever he has the occasion.     Alcohol may contribute to this.

ManH is very different, because he has some or many intellectual interests, that are at least as strong a stimulation for his pleasure center as are physical stimuli like food and sexual homeostation.   Therefore logically, any one of many possible stimuli is by far not as important, when there are many others to focus upon and compensate with.   When infatuation with his chosen companion wears off, ManH does not loose his most satisfying and major stimulation of his pleasure center, there is so much else to enjoy.    There are many shared cultural and intellectual activities, which are enough so that he can continue to be happily bonded in a monogamous relationship and not feel deprived of the thrill of the initial infatuation.   
I once heard a scientist talk about, how he could not even stop thinking about his research while being intimate with a woman.    Not knowing anything more about the circumstances, I cannot judge him, even though being the counterpart in this situation is certainly a reason for a woman to feel abused and humiliated.    But it is also a good sign, because it shows, that there are men, who can be more interested in intellectual joys than driven by instincts and they have no reason to cheat.   
Of course I prefer to find someone, whose preferred intellectual joys are those shared with a mindmate, and not his work excluding her.  
Therefore I am not only looking for an intelligent, educated and intellectual man to have enough shared interests to create intellectual intimacy, but also, because he can appreciate being with me for many reasons other than my body and he will be less prone to chase other women.