quest


I am a woman of 63 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:
marulaki@hotmail.com


The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.


Tuesday, July 31, 2012

549. Citizenship - The Lottery Of Life

549.   Citizenship - The Lottery Of Life 

A matchmaking site asks as one of many also the following question:
The life of one of your fellow citizens is more valuable than the lives of ten foreigners.
True
False

For an egalitarian like me the attitude expressed by such a statement is repulsive.  It is the lottery of life, into what citizenship, to what parents and with what genes people are born.   Nothing thereof is anybody's personal merit.

Nationalism, chauvinism and patriotism are irrational.   Being proud of one's citizenship is the unfounded pride of something not individually earned. The rational justification for being proud of something is the real achievement obtained by the investment of efforts.   

The citizenship of any country has benefits and disadvantages, and the lottery of life imposes both upon people.   It is irrational to be proud of having any citizenship for whatever reasons while maintaining the denial of reasons to be ashamed of it.    As far as the benefits outweigh the disadvantages, having a specific citizenship is rather a reason to appreciate being a winner in the lottery of life.  

I am German, but this does not justify neither reasons to be proud nor to be ashamed as an individual, no matter the impact, which having the German citizenship has had upon my life:
1.  A university degree is considered everybody's right in the case of sufficient intelligence.   When I studied, this right not only included free tuition, but also a grant to live on to all students, whose parents were not rich.    
I owe my degree to my German citizenship.   In many other countries like the USA, where education is a merchandise, I may have spent my life as an unhappy cashier at a supermarket.  
2.  I grew up between people, who had either participated in or at least passively enabled the Nazi terror and atrocities.   Some of my teachers had been soldiers, and I was ignorant of what the majority of adults around me had done, while I have never personally known anybody of those, who had resisted.  I suspected every adult to be guilty of having caused harm to innocent people.   As a consequence I grew up with a deep distrust and disrespect towards the entire generations before me.  This influence led me to define morals predominantly as the avoidance of harming others.      

Being a German citizen gave me both benefits and disadvantages.   But neither of it can be attributed to my person.  
Getting my degree paid for by the German government was not my personal merit.  
The guilt of German history is not my personal guilt.  

Nationalism as a justification of attributing value to individual persons is obsolete and needs to be overcome.    The only moral justification to distinguish between individuals' value can be derived by an assessment of the harm done by them to others.   

Therefore here is my personal statement:  

The life of one person, who never harms others, is more valuable than the lives of millions, who do harm. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you are not guilty for german history. true ! however, it is and remains YOUR history.
the germans have a history of invading and oppressing other countries.
it is in their mentality and posible their genes to do so.

what ? the british too ?
yep thery sure did. under queen victoria for instance they ruled over half the world.
oh ! queen victoria was german wasn`t she ??
the anglosaxon race came from germany didn`t they ?
the usa, the bully butcher of millions and millions are 25 % german origin aren`t they ?
hmmm !? what the heck they can`t help their genes now, can they ?
many war mongering us politions are german origin, aren`t they ?

and germans today ?
drive along the autobahn to experience german mentality !
you will intimidated and driven off the road ( as happen to a mother and her baby ).
yep, germans build the cars to act as the master race.
not to mention the policy of invading deckchairs equiped with towels.
sorry, had to bring that up. it shows the germans as they really are.

what has that got to do with you ?
reading your blog, i find it dogmatic, unscientific, irrational,
dictating, intolerant, sexist, emotional, arrogant......well, basically typical german. you can`t wash your hands of that !
nor can you wash your hands of ingoring people who are not of your biased opinion.

you never tire of claiming to have a university degree.
you seek only a person with a university degree. accademic arrogance. "master race" attitude.
it`s the "we and then there`s them", policy.
how german is that ?? very !
the dominant policy of germany over europe shows the genes are still alive and kicking.
you choose to live in country that is NOT democratic.
you must feel at home there and ofcourse it is your home !
born and bred a german.
the country where s/m is part of the mentality and " radfahrermentalität" is the norm.
no ! not all germans are as i have described. but you ? yep, you appear to fit the bill !

the problem with people who are not capable getting their own lives in order, they love to tell others how to live.

try and get a life !
this constant obsessive drivel shows you need help. real bad !

oh, bye the way, do you even know your own age ??
i`m sure it aint 62 !!

Maruli said...

what a diatribe.....

But thanks for the reminder to adjust my age in the template.

Unknown said...

At least the comments are moderated. I can understand that English is not your first language Mr 'Anonymous' but your comment is so full of nonsense that it's hard to know where to start. Academic credentials are a good starting point in looking for a match, (but I admit to being puzzled by "German equivalent of a Master's" I studied in Margburg; you either have one, or you don't.) I don't agree with a lot of things Maruli says, but this site allways makes me think, unlike you, and that's never a bad thing. Perhaps more civility is in order.

Maruli said...

To Unknown:

A Master's is a specific degree in an educational system, where it is the second step following a Bachelor's.
In the traditional German system, there was no Bachelor's, instead there was one linear course of studies leading from the Abitur at the end of school directly to a degree called either Magister, Diplom or Staatsexamen.
This is why I consider it as equivalent.

Your feedback is encouraging. Disagreeing is the alternative option to agreeing. It tells me that my writings are at least conveying enough meaning to disagree with. Making someone think is much better than having people zap on from what they perceive as gibberish.
This indicates a realistic chance, that my mindmate to be found will be able to discover and perceive himself as the one agreeing with me. Or rather as the one, who happens to share with me, what we both can agree upon.

Poul said...

I'm sorry, Blogger left off my name; If I may make 2 suggestions, that "might" help in your search; ( please note my opinion is from the English language perspective )
1. Remove the "German equivalent of a Master's" statment; just say you have a Magister; In the USA and Canada, there has been public controversy over people in athority making this sort of claim, and it is not percived well.

2. Remove the Mindmate Checklist, or modify it it some way; adding a multitude of restrictions that could use some clarification early on in communication will restrict your opportunities; As an example, I meet every one of your requirements, ( except for the beard, I grow one annually, yet I allways find it irritating and shave it off ) I also have female friends; you will NOT find a man this age who does not. So your checklist seems to require that I give up my female friends, or not have any in the first place. ( this of course, depends on the definition of 'close' ) Now, I like checklists; as a scientist, I use them quite often and they can be very valuable. I would suggest ( and this is just my opinion ) that you use it a little bit later in communication; sort of a preliminary checklist, and then a more through one; to some, particularly in a foreign country, this may seen daunting.

Good luck in you search.
Poul.

Maruli said...

Thanks, Poul, for your well meant suggestions.

But a miss is as good as a mile.
A miss is a miss and the sooner it is obvious, the better. If someone is not suitable or considers me as not suitable, then I prefer to avoid futile correspondences. I do not even wish to begin any correspondence, if is nothing better than a delayed discovery of the miss.

1. If a trifle as calling me degree an equivalent of a master's is enough to disturb or annoy someone, then it is good, that he is deterred immediately. Something similar would just have the same effect with a delay.

2. A man's reaction to my asking, if he intends to maintain close friendship with women while in a relationship is also a good indicator of what to expect. Someone, whose female contacts are mere acquaintances, whom he does not need and who are not important, would easily agree to keep these women emotionally at bay, at a distance, at the periphery of his personal life without missing them.

But a man's need to continue having these women filling a close and important place in his life, then this is emotional cheating.

I have no intention to compete with other women for a man's exclusive attachment and exclusive intellectual intimacy. The more a man's non-physical needs are met by other women, the smaller is the place for a partner in his life. The worst commodification and objectification are often the consequence of a man having sufficient sources for all his emotional, social and intellectual needs. The only deficit and void for wanting a partner are his instinctive needs for homeostasis.
His reaction of considering the absence or anticipating the loss of close friendships with women as a deprivation is a good reason to deter such a man.

As you see, I have good reasons to not follow your suggestions.