I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

73. The Pseudo-Chivalry of the Door-Coat-Ritual

The Pseudo-Chivalry of the Door-Coat-Ritual

Reading profiles, I sometimes come across men putting emphasis on their chivalry, how they open doors for women and help them into their coat.     Sad enough, there are obviously still enough women gullible to be taken in by this.

Long, long ago, I was mounting snow chains onto the wheels of my car.   Those chains were very simple, awkward and unpractical, it needed a lot of hard pulling at the limit of my physical strength.    It was snowing and cold.    I struggled for more than half an hour, maybe it was even an hour, until I finally managed to get those chains onto the wheels without any help.    
This happened at the side of a busy street, next to the exit of a busy gas station.   During all this time of me visibly struggling, not one man stopped and offered to help me.  

Ever since that day, whenever a man attempts to open a door for me or help me into my coat, I automatically wonder, if he would have stopped and helped me with the snow chains. 
I doubt it.  

Real chivalry means to help, when help is needed.    The door-coat-ritual is in the best case just hypocrisy, in the worst case outright manipulation.   Because it costs no effort, no sacrifice, nothing.   As soon as he would risk to get his precious fingers wet and dirty, the truth about a pseudo-chivalrous hypocrite becomes obvious.    By applying the door-coat-ritual, he gains a false reputation of being courteous, caring and therefore trustworthy.    That prepares the gullible women to be taken advantage of the more easily later on.   

Since I succeeded to put the chains on the wheels, the door-coat-ritual does not impress me anymore.   It has become preposterous.