I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

75. Pseudo-Non-Breeders


Most non-breeders are lacking an urge to breed, they are hypoanimalistic and have an individualistic identity.   
But there are also pseudo-non-breeders, who in reality are wanna-be-breeders appearing as if they were non-breeders.   Due to lots of factors, medical, lack of a willing co-breeder, other circumstances they were impeded to become the breeders, that being they considered as their purpose in life. 

Pseudo-non-breeders can be a hazard to real non-breeders, because the different identities can have very disruptive consequences upon a relationship.   

Wanna-be-breeders have a particle identity, which is connected with their unfulfilled urge to breed.  They perceives themselves as if they were meant to serve a purpose to the whole, the higher entity.   When breeding as the primary self-sacrificing purpose is impeded, they are driven to find substitute purposes as an outlet or to fill a void.  
There are many varieties of such a purpose, it can be caring for other's progeny, voluntary work of any kind, political activism.  

The purpose is their priority in life, and since they perceive themselves as mere particles, they automatically perceive a partner also as a particle with a purpose.    Their own urge justifies their giving priority to their own purpose, and they take it for granted, that a partner should have the same urge for a purpose and would therefore agree on the priority of the purpose over the partner.  

But for an individualistic person like me, who wants a mindmate for the couple's mutual benefits and who does not accept to have a purpose, the difference would create a very onesided and asymmetrical situation.
The particle identity partner would give first priority to his purpose, while the partner comes second.   The individualistic identity partner would give priority to the partner, while there is not other purpose in life.