I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, January 20, 2012

481. A Test Question For Morons And Jerks

A Test Question For Morons And Jerks

On a dating site people are asked matching questions, including the following: 

"Would you need to sleep with someone before you considered marrying them?"

As far as I remember, I have not yet found even one man's profile, who has replied with NO.  

When a man answers YES, he is either a psychopath and a jerk or immature and a moron, who does not understand the real meaning of this question.   
But I estimate, that about 5% to 10% of men are innately monogamous and able to respect and appreciate women as persons and equals.   If one of them indicates YES, he is probably unaware of the implications.     

Here is the translation of the YES:

A man's YES means:
Physical intimacy is not the begin of commitment for this man.   Entering physical intimacy is not sufficient for such a man to create a bond that equals marriage.   He does not feel bound and bonded unless there is a third party and an external ritual called legal marriage installing obligations and responsibility.  He may even be unable to ever accept obligations and responsibility towards a woman.  He cannot be trusted, because he does not commit at the same moment, when entering physical intimacy creates a deep bond for a woman.   
It is not possible for a woman to earn the security of commitment with such a man in a reliable way by her own correct, decent and caring behavior.   Such a man's commitment is only available by the lottery of risking to be hurt and discarded instead.   The price for the lottery ticket is the asymmetry of getting emotionally bonded by the agreement to physical intimacy, even though this is not reciprocal.  

A man's YES means:
The man perceives and considers a woman as an object and a commodity, whose purpose is to serve his instinctive urges to his full satisfaction.   If she does not serve this purpose, she is not suitable.    He feels entitled to test her usability and to lure her into bed for the purpose of testing her.   If he is not satisfied by the service, he justifies dumping her as her own flaw and deficiency.   A woman is to him like a merchandise, that he returns to the shop.

A man's YES means:
The man is driven so much by his animal instincts, that his perception of her as a mere body makes him oblivious of the woman's other qualities as a person with a brain.   He is unable to perceive her as significant and as predominantly a companion.   He is unable to evaluate sexual homeostasis as only a secondary additional benefit of the companionship.   
Any reasonable woman knows, that providing sexual homeostasis is one of her contributions to the maintenance of the relationship.  Considering the biology of men, testing any specific woman is obsolete, because men can get homeostasis with any woman.   
When a man considers needing to test a specific woman for obtainable satisfaction, this clearly indicates, that he wants much more than mere homeostasis.   He is unable to know the more truly human joys in life, he is too much driven by the pursuit of strong sexual stimulation of the pleasure center of his brain.    
This onesided emphasis on the service of the body limits also the duration of the relationship.   Infatuation with a body fades after a while.   A man, who has not inhibition or conscience to discard a woman after testing, also does not hesitate to discard her, when his infatuation has ended.