I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

485. Marriage Or Cohabitation

Marriage Or Cohabitation

I have mentioned before, that I see no benefits from getting legally married, unless marriage is needed to be allowed to live in the same country.    

I am looking for a mindmate, for whom getting physically involved has automatically the emotional consequence of creating the feeling of being bonded by monogamous commitment as a responsible partner with obligations.   With such a man, legal marriage adds no benefits to cohabitation.  
With a man, for whom physical intimacy does not create a monogamous bond, legal marriage does not provide any protection against being hurt.  But while in the case of cohabitation I can immediately get rid of a cheating partner, legal marriage would tie me to a jerk for a year of separation and divorce costs a lot of money.  

Now there is a study showing, that legal marriage is not a requirement for happiness.  
A new study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family reveals that married couples experience few advantages for psychological well-being, health, or social ties compared to unmarried couples who live together. While both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period.

""We found that differences between marriage and cohabitation tend to be small and dissipate after a honeymoon period. Also while married couples experienced health gains -- likely linked to the formal benefits of marriage such as shared healthcare plans -- cohabiting couples experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem. For some, cohabitation may come with fewer unwanted obligations than marriage and allow for more flexibility, autonomy, and personal growth" said Musick."