quest


I am a woman of 65 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:
marulaki@hotmail.com


The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.


Monday, January 30, 2012

487. Wide-Faced Or Narrow-Faced Men

487.   Wide-Faced Or Narrow-Faced Men

I am demisexual, I do not get physically attracted to looks.   I am consciously ready to create a bonded commitment with any man, whose personality and intellect attract me, while there are no dealbreakers.   But while I do neither perceive nor need physical attraction, physical repulsion is a deterrent. 

Consciously, I am attracted to men who are more nice guys than machos, who are more psychologically androgynous than virile.    Aggression, dominance, power, competition as the typical indications of virility are repulsive to me.   Consciously, I need to rely upon a lot of information to find out, if I can trust a man to appreciate and treat me as an equal partner.   I consider first and superficial impressions as misleading.   

But after reading about the study quoted below connecting facial proportions with personality, now I am wondering, if my subconscious reacts to visual stimuli, of which I am consciously ignorant.  

I prefer bearded men.   So far, I attributed my pognophily only to my preference for someone's personality trait of lacking vanity, of considering shaving as a ludicrous waste of time.    I considered the act of shaving in itself as a repulsive behavior.   But maybe there is more than that.   Maybe a beard covers stimuli, which my subconscious mind perceives as repulsive.    

One study is of course not enough to be conclusive.   But it allows me to scrutinize for what my subconscious mind is doing to me.    I have no answers, but at least some important new questions.  
  • Does my subconscious mind recognize indications, which I am consciously oblivious of?
  • Do I have a subconscious preference for narrow faces in men?   
  • Do wide faced men scare me?  
  • Do they scare me less, when a beard covers the indication of facial virility?   
  • Do I perceive clean shaven men as more repulsive, when they have wide rather than narrow faces?     
Sources:
http://www.world-science.net/othernews/120107_facialstructure

"You can to some ex­tent assess a per­son’s trust­wor­thi­ness from their looks, ac­cord­ing to new re­search that could up­set dec­ades of settled sci­en­tif­ic think­ing.
In a stu­dy, Mi­chael Hasel­huhn and Elaine Wong of the Uni­vers­ity of Wisconsin-Milwaukee found that men whose faces are rel­a­tively wide for their height are sta­tis­tic­ally more likely to act un­eth­ic­ally.

“Our re­sults dem­on­strate that stat­ic [fixed] phys­i­cal at­tributes can in­deed serve as re­li­a­ble cues of im­mor­al ac­tion,” Hasel­huhn and Wong wrote, adding that their find­ings ap­pear to apply to males on­ly. “Per­haps some men truly are bad to the bone.”

How­ev­er, they added, re­cent find­ings have linked more ag­gres­sive ten­den­cies in men to faces that are wide rel­a­tive to their height. Such men are sta­tis­tic­ally more likely “to re­tal­i­ate to per­ceived slights by oth­ers [and] to act in their own self-in­ter­est, even if it means vi­o­lat­ing an­oth­er’s trust,”
In their own stu­dy, Hasel­huhn and Wong con­clud­ed that the great­er propens­ity of men with these fa­cial types to act un­eth­ic­ally flows from a sense among these men that they have more pow­er than av­er­age. There­fore, they tend to feel they can get away with it.
A major objection to the idea that facial fea­tures could predict bad be­ha­vior, they said, has been that men with such fea­tures would swiftly drop out of the gene pool. Pre­sum­ably, no one would trust them so they would have trouble mat­ing. This ob­ject­ion loses force, Hasel­huhn and Wong ar­gued, if you suppose that the draw­backs of having such a face may be coun­ter­ba­lanced by an ad­vant­age, namely that those faces also signal ag­gres­sion and domi­nance-a trait that ap­peals to many women."

http://www.livescience.com/14909-wide-faces-predict-unethical-behavior.html
""We believe that men's facial structure should be used as one important cue in detecting liars and cheaters, but caution should be taken in automatically labeling relatively wide-faced men as bad seeds."

Future research can investigate whether men with broad faces "have truly evolved to be less ethical, or whether these men 'learn' to be less ethical over time," Haselhuhn noted. "For example, if people are naturally inclined to act deferentially to men with relatively broad faces, these men may feel more powerful over time, leading them to act less ethically.""