I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

266. Inexactitude, Trust, Manipulation

Inexactitude, Trust, Manipulation

A few days ago, I was contacted by someone, who indicated his age in his profile as 65, but revealed in his email, that he was two years older.    As I consider 67 as the age limit of my search, the difference by itself is trivial.   It is more an inexactitude than a serious lie, but still, he had deliberately told something not exactly correct.  

Trust needs the expectation of being always told the exact truth.   After that admission, how could I have learned to trust someone like him?    For the doubtful gain to get a reply from women, who may not reply to his true age, he forfeited the possibility of trust.

But it is worse than that.   Attempting to get a reply by an incorrect information is outright disrespect and manipulation.    When a woman has made her own decision about the accepted age range and other criteria of a match, this is her legitimate own choice.   A man with respect for her takes her choice for serious.    If he does not, this shows, that he does not take the woman for serious.    I admit, that I have no sympathy for the kind of men, who believe, that when a woman says yes or no or whatever else, she does not mean it.    I dislike this kind of game players.

There is something absurd in the thinking of such a man, who believes that if he only manipulates the woman to accept contact with him in spite of her own criteria, then she will be so swept off her feet by his grandiosity.  Some men really believe, that a woman forgets and gives up, what she really wants, just because he happens to be interested in her.     
He replied, that lying about the age is common behavior, and it seemed as if for him, there was nothing wrong about it.   Obviously, he was willing to accept a woman, who lies about her age and was not much bothered about issues of trust and trustworthiness.    I doubt, that such a man wants a woman as a close companion for intrinsic commitment.    If he only wants her body, than for this purpose, the body of a liar is as good as the body of an honest woman.