I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Monday, November 21, 2011

447. Oxytocin, Testosterone, Promiscuity And The Plight Of Women

Oxytocin, Testosterone, Promiscuity And The Plight Of Women

I have already written before, that I consider promiscuity as a scourge of humanity.   A recent study allows me to have a more thourough look at the reasons, how the 'kindness gene' in combination with testosterone and the christian norm for behavior and thinking cause the women's plight from male promiscuity.     
"An earlier UC Berkeley study looked at three combinations of gene variations of the oxytocin receptors AA, AG and GG."
"Widely known as the "cuddle" or "love" hormone, oxytocin is secreted into the bloodstream and the brain, where it promotes social interaction, bonding and romantic love, among other functions."

"Kogan said. "What we found is that the people who had two copies of the G version displayed more trustworthy behaviors -- more head nods, more eye contact, more smiling, more open body posture. And it was these behaviors that signaled kindness to the strangers.""
""It's remarkable that complete strangers could pick up on who's trustworthy, kind or compassionate in 20 seconds when all they saw was a person sitting in a chair listening to someone talk," said Aleksandr Kogan"
 I was curious and googled for the prevalence.
AA: 6 (11.5%)
AG or GA: 18 (34.6%)
GG: 28 (53.8%)
n = 4 AA,
n = 22 AG,
n = 19 GG)

Promiscuity means the perception of other human beings not as persons, but as a commodities to be used.   Promiscuous behavior is mainly dumping after use and cheating.  

The monogamous bonding victim gets deeply emotionally hurt.   But in our culture, which is implicitly based upon christian thinking, invisible harm is condoned and tolerated as the god given fate.   People are supposed to suffer without complaint or protest.   They are promised reward and justice in the afterlife.    They are brainwashed, expected, coerced to submit to the postponed compensation. 
This is aggravated by the fact, that christian religion was invented and shaped by men, who considered their own promiscuity as their entitlement.   The implicit christian demand for women to suffer the damage of promiscuity is not a contradiction to the god's outspoken declaration of promiscuous behavior as sin.   The sin is between the sinner and the god, the suffering of the victim is not considered.    A christian cheater has to repent and earn his god's forgiveness by expiation and penitance.   Once he has paid or prayed enough, he is free to sin again.    The sin is not the damage to the woman, the cheater's sin is the unauthorized use of another man's right to the exclusive use of his property.  
As a result, most women are desensitiezd and damaged in their own self-esteem.   They do not consider the attitude and practice of promiscuity as an outrage and violation to their dignity.   
Instead they either attempt to adapt to it and even to imitate it.   When the vicitms of promiscuity suffer pain, depression, damage, not only the men, but even many of the women consider this themselves as the woman's flaw and weakness.   Women cope by taking psychopharamceuticals or alcohol and they get sick.   Cheated upon wives withdraw and use their stock of oxytocin to bond only with their children.  

Testosterone is known to be the main hormone influencing the strength of the male instinctive urge for promiscuity and of the male tendency towards aggression and cruelty.  

This leads to several constellations of GG genes and testosterone with different impacts upon women:
  1. Women with GG genes and men with the GG genes and a low level of testosterone (LT) are able to get monogamously bonded by their oxytocin.   
  2. Men with GG genes and a medium level of testosterone (MT) are able to be monogamous, if they consciously are aware of the destructive consequences of promiscuity.
  3. Men with the AA genes and high or medium levels of testosterone (HT) are jerks, who can be easily recognized and avoided by monogamous women.  
  4. Men with AA genes and LT may be monogamous for lacking the urge for promiscuity but without getting bonded.   
  5. Women with AA genes can agree on reciprocal using each other without being emotionally harmed.    But as AA genes have the lowest prevelance, such women are a minority, who unfortunately contribute to the myth of female promiscuity.  These few women, who truly remain unharmed by being used, serve as an excuse for the widespread ruthless and inconsiderate use of and harm to monogamous women. 
  6. The tragic hazard for GG women are GG/HT men.    They attract women by appearing kind, empathetic, considerate, responsible and monogamous.   This causes women to make the mistake of getting involved with a temporarily monogamous man, who sooner or later succumbs to his testosterone, and the painful consequences thereof.   The combination of the high testosterone causing urges to be promiscuous and a tendency to cruelty together with the christian brainwashing condoning women's suffering overrides the beneficial effects of the GG genes in these men.    The women's own christian acceptance of the suffering makes them then prone to submit to the fate.  

My personal conclusion:  Theorectically, my mindmate is a man with GG and preferably LT, maybe MT, but certainly not HT.   But as we have not yet arrived at the times, when everybody has his genome printed out, I will have to continue to avoid jerks by more traditional methods of scrutiny.