I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

108. Promiscuity and Disgust Sensitivity

Promiscuity and Disgust Sensitivity

I am suspecting, that promiscuity or the inhibition of promiscuity are related to differences in disgust sensitivity.  

There is certainly a wide variety in disgust sensitivity between people.  As an obvious example, some people allow their dogs to lick their faces without any hesitation, others feel already disgust when merely watching it.
I assume that while all people have some amount of disgust of other's body fluids, there is probably also a wide variety of how much disgust people feel about the contact with a stranger's body.  

What in previous entries I had described as promiscuity inhibition, could be mainly or partly a strong repulsion to get near any stranger's body, which then as a consequence impedes promiscuity.    This does not contradict my previous assumption, that promiscuity is a loss of the inhibition, but it is an elaboration.   

In this elaboration, promiscuity inhibition means, that disgust sensitivity prevents hypoanimalistic individuals from physical involvement with a stranger.   Such involvement is delayed, until the emotional and intellectual intimacy have prepared both partners for physical bonding, when they are no more strangers to each other.
I strongly suspect, that only people, whose instinctivity is higher than their disgust sensitivity, are prone to become promiscuous.  

The destruction of the promiscuity inhibitions and the development of promiscuous psychopathy is a two step process.  
The first step is beginning promiscuous activities with strangers or persons, with whom emotional and intellectual intimacy does not exist.   Assuming that promiscuity is caused, triggered or enhanced by strong instinctivity, then it could be that when two strangers agree on a fling, they do this in a moment of strong instincts overriding their disgust sensitivity and their repulsion of a stranger's body.  
This would be similar to someone, whose extreme hunger overrides his disgust and he eats food from the garbage container, that would cause him nausea, if he were less hungry.  
Of course, in such a situation, the physical intimacy is not creating any bond, as the major requirement of emotional and intellectual intimacy is lacking.   They experience the physical encounter as something completely different from a bonding experience.   The more often they repeat non-bonding flings, the more they get desensitized to not feeling any restraining disgust and habituated to not getting bonded.  
When they have lost all ability to bond, they become dangerous emotional psychopaths.  In this state, even when they know someone for a long time before getting involved, for them as desensitized emotional psychopaths this is still nothing more than uncommitted promiscuity, even though they are no more strangers.   But for their unfortunate and unsuspicious hypoanimalistic partners it is bonding.  

So far, I have used the word disgust in a vague and unspecified way.   My assumption, that disgust sensitivity to a stranger's body is something developed by evolution needs some evidence.  

In my attempt to find some scientific backup,  I found this text based on research as recent as 2009:

As a result of several studies, the authors distinguish three varieties of disgust:  Pathogen, saksual (misspelling on purpose), and moral disgust.  They reject previous concepts, where disgust was meddled with feeling creepy.   
They consider all three disgusts as the result of evolution.   The pathogen disgust aims as a protection from pathogen substances, the saksual disgust as a selective protection against have unfit progeny, and the moral disgust as a protection for the cohesion of groups.   That sound plausible.  
The authors consider all three disgusts as the same emotion.   But this is somehow not fully convincing to me, when I compare it with my own subjective experience and introspection.  
Yet again, such studies were made on a representative sample of average people, of whom most were most probably breeders and particles, and I am the one, who is different.  

Therefore I cannot really know, what kind of disgust another non-promiscuous woman feels, whenever she is approached by a stranger and perceives his intentions as aiming to use her body for a fling.   But she would most probably feel disgust, as is shown in the results of these studies.  

But I know my own reactions from such experiences in the past.   It is a very strong sick feeling of the disgust to pathogen substances to get in touch with a stranger's body fluids.   An analogy for the understanding of promiscuous readers: It is the same disgust as if someone would suggest to smear dog poop on me.    Morally, I feel outrage, that somebody has the disrespect and depreciation to even consider for one moment, that I were someone to be degraded as low as a body, an animal, an object.  But this is a different feeling from the pathogen disgust.  
Since I feel no instinct to procreate, so of course I have no specific instinctive disgust rejecting some males as more unsuitable than others.  I choose a partner with my brain to bond with, not with instincts to procreate.   Therefore I feel saksual disgust against all strangers, but always combined with the pathogen disgust towards the stranger's body, so I cannot distinguish both as different emotions.