I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

110. Women's Stupidity Enhances their Plight

Women's Stupidity Enhances their Plight

It is a known fact with enough scientific evidence:   Seeing a naked, nearly naked or provocatively dressed woman or even a picture of one triggers a man's animal instincts.   The higher his instinctivity, the stronger this effect.   This means, that women should be aware of men's limitations.  
Men's triggered instincts are never valid or acceptable to be used neither by themselves nor by anybody else as an excuse for misbehavior and lack of self-control.   But those instincts, when triggered, do incapacitate men's reasoning and functioning as rational beings.  That is a reality to take into account when evaluating men's behavior.  When their instincts are triggered, they are temporarily rationally challenged.   They cannot help it to be mentally disenabled by their instincts.  Sometimes it is obvious, sometimes it is subtle and not easily to be noticed.   But women better are clever and reckon with it all the time to protect themselves against the detrimental effects.  

I claim that monogamous bonding in couples like Dorine and André Gorz leads to more happiness and less suffering as the sum for both and seen over a lifetime than any form of promiscuity and polygamy does.   Even if this could be debated concerning men, it is certainly true for women, who are more inclined to be monogamous, as long as they are not brainwashed by men to overcome and destroy their innate promiscuity inhibition.
It is obvious, that any person, who is bonded in a monogamous relationship and whose promiscuity inhibition is intact, fares better by kindling the monogamous relationship than by jeopardizing it, even if this means the need to use self-control once in a while.  

The behavior of all people is determined by two forces, the animal instincts and the capacity to make rational decisions, that has evolved to make them humans and distinct from animals.    Those persons, who have evolved to the highest level of humanity, have evolved the capacity for self-control based upon wise foresight and learning from experience.   They are capable to make a reasonable estimate of the outcome of their actions, based upon previous own experience, observed others' experience and knowledge, and they are capable to control their behavior based upon that estimate.

A man with low disgust sensitivity, whose instincts get triggered by a woman dressed not very decently, can still have so much foresight and self-control, that he never risks to cheat.   Even though he feels his instinct, he does not let it determine his behavior.  
His temporary need to use self-control is no contradiction to my claim, that he in total and long term will be more happy, suffer less and cause less suffering than someone, who is too weak or too stupid to resist his instincts and cheats.   When his partner has the dignity to leave him immediately, he has forfeited happiness.    

Some religions incorporate some good knowledge about human nature, of course without this knowledge validating them in any way. The islam has a wise understanding about the reaction of male instincts to women, but its cruel reaction of punishing the prey for the dysfunction and weakness of the predator is preposterous.   It is an outrage to make the women prisoners in the house or under a walking tent, while the men are allowed all the freedom.   If they really would see the necessity of such a drastic segregation, then they should lock the men away.    

Wise people cooperate to avoid unhappiness and damage by triggering instincts in inappropriate circumstances and situations.   Such cooperation means that men use self-control upon their instincts, and that women avoid triggering those instincts by dressing decently.   Together both genders could reduce the detrimental effects of male dysfunction due to their instincts in every day life.

A wise woman knows, that it is in her own best interest to only trigger the instincts of her own monogamous partner in the privacy of the couple.    Whenever she wants to be perceived by a man with his brain clear and undisturbed by the animal inside him, then she needs to dress in a way, that her body is covered well enough.  In all everyday life situation, when the woman wants to be respected and perceived as a person at work or when doing business, she needs the colleague's or business partner's brain functioning properly.    She would make her own life unnecessarily difficult, if she would be triggering men's instincts without any benefits for the purpose of her dealing with him. 
Only if a woman consciously wants to be approached for a fling, then she better runs around provocatively dressed and they will all be chasing her.  
In short, intelligent women adapt their attire to their purpose.   

But the majority of women in modern western societies are too stupid to be aware of all this.   They believe consciously in being protected by the law and by the publicly declared equal rights against the bad effects of male instincts.    They have the illusion to be free to trigger men's instincts and not suffer from it.   
They complain with a lot of reason about the macho men, who disrespect, depreciate, repress, exploit, abuse them.   Their complaints are more than justified, but they are blind to their own responsibility of triggering in them the instincts, that enhance their macho attitudes.    They want to be treated by humans as humans, but they contribute to them being animals.  

In reality, they are as much driven by instinct as are men.   Their own instincts drive them to trigger men's instincts in the most inappropriate situation with the most unfavorable results and they do not know it.   When they are successful, they feel flattered.  They identify themselves with their looks and their body.  They run around half naked, provocatively dressed like prostitutes.  The more they can trigger men's instinct, the more they feel good about themselves.   They are proud to be able to trigger men's instinct.   They are pathetic.

But instead, those foolish women are driven by their own instinct to trigger the promiscuous instincts of the worst emotional psychopaths, they fall for the pick-up-artists like flies into traps.   Being driven by their procreation instinct, they get pregnant from the least suitable psychopath and then either they get dumped immediately or after having been married and cheated and divorced, and in the end they are raising their brats by themselves or have to cope with all the hazard of patchwork-families.   They trigger instincts and get hurt as a consequence.  

Wise women do not waste one minute of their time with a man, who is in a relationship or interested seriously in wanting a relationship with someone else.   Competing causes a lot of pain, that can be avoided by focusing on the free and available men.   No man could cheat on his partner, without a woman accepting to be the one he is cheating with.   With her human emotions, this co-cheater would suffer hell, when cheated upon herself, but she does not hesitate to let her own instincts make her the cause of suffering of the women, who has been there first.   
They consciously want a monogamous relationship, but instead of being happy with one partner each, they compete with each other for other women's men. 
The most idiotic women are those, who are successful in luring a man away from his previous partner, and when he then cheats on them too, they are astonished and outraged.  

Both men and women get dysfunctional under the influence of their animal instincts, but in the end, the women suffer from both, the men's emotional psychopathy and their own stupidity.   
Unfortunately neither the women nor the men are fully aware of what they do and of what goes on between them.  These women do not only cause damage to themselves, but to all women, even those, who are wiser than to trigger instincts.    If men are getting used to experience women provoking their instincts without hesitation often enough, then they generalize their own mental dysfunction of considering women as objects to all women, even to those, who are decently dressed and who attempt to avoid suffering under this dysfunction.   

This is like the marshmallow test.
The promiscuous man and the woman with blind eagerness to breed are both like the kid, who greedily devours the marshmallow immediately upon getting it in reach.   The monogamous person is like the kid, who is capable to wait, until the much bigger reward comes later, be it two marshmallows for a kid or the long-term bonding in true love for an adult.   

Women are supposed to be from Venus and men from Mars.   But when I observe those breeding animals and particles driven by instinct to hurt each other and consider this as normal, then I feel that I am an alien from another galaxy.    From the distance of that galaxy, Venus and Mars are very close together.   
I observe them from my distance of an alien, and I can see the logic in their behavior, when that logic is based upon the instincts main objective of the survival of the species.   But in spite of all my observations, I have never understood and I will never understand, how triggering a man's instincts can make a woman feel good.   It will always be beyond me, how what is an insult to me is flattering to them.

But I am convinced that I am not the only alien from the galaxy of monogamous, anti-promiscuous people capable to bond.  I am an expat from monogamy land.  Where are my fellow country people?  Dorine and André Gorz came from there.   My mind-mate from there is somewhere.    We only need to find each other.