I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

93. Identity and Needs

Identity and Needs

This is in general about needs, no matter, if they are physical, emotional or intellectual.  

There are mainly three methods of handling needs:  Fulfilling them, consciously fighting and controlling them and denying and repressing them from consciousness.  

There are intrinsic and extrinsic reasons influencing the decision, how to handle a need:
Intrinsic reasons are the knowledge of detrimental consequences like health risks, the respect for the rights of others, and protection of the self-esteem and dignity by not acting against the own values.
Extrinsic reasons are the fear of consequences from others like embarrassment or punishment, brainwashing by education, religion and culture as to what should be done.

Hypoanimalistic individuals have needs to enhance the own wellbeing, including the need to share and exchange with partners of their choice, based upon a tit-for-tat principle.  They are mainly guided by intrinsic reasons in how they handle their needs.

Breeders with particles identity have sometimes needs, that are the contrary of the needs of individuals or at least completely absent in individuals.   Particles feel a need to breed, to serve a purpose of apparent altruism (entry 86. The Myth of Altruism), the need to conform, to be like others, to get their approval, to fit in, the need to compete and to climb in the hierarchy.   In short, they have the need to be successful particles, their method of handling a need is much or maybe more guided by extrinsic reasons than be intrinsic reasons.  

That means, that when individuals have a need, that is impeded by obstacles, they work on removing the obstacles and get, what they feel is a legitimate need.    Particles consider obstacles from other particles as legitimate, and the particle is supposed to work on himself to remove the need from his brain and refrain from it.   The particle is supposed to submit to serving a purpose instead of pursuing own needs.  

As an example:   Individuals, who suffer from loneliness and who know, that it is more healthy to be a couple than to be alone, do the rational thing and make serious efforts to find a partner.    Particles seriously tell lonely people, that they need a therapy to stop feeling lonely, because feeling lonely indeed is unhealthy.  Instead of attempting to end being alone, they should pursue a purpose as a particle.
This is as preposterous as if a particle gives a diet pill to a non-obese hungry person instead of acknowledging, that the person needs food.  

Particles are the majority of society, and many have no clue of how hypoanimalistic individuals experience the world.   Particles do not restrict their attitudes, expectations and pressure to influence other particles, but apply them to all people.   They impose their expectations on hypoanimalistic individuals.    The world of the particles is not my world.