I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

232. Chemistry and Subconscious Instinctive Communication - 1

Chemistry and Subconscious Instinctive Communication - 1

Breeders as human animals are genetically programmed to produce as many healthy offspring as possible.     There has been a lot of research, how the mate choice is influenced by olfactory and visual clues signalling immunocompetence, and all this processes are not conscious.;col1

On this primitive precognitive level, every male body and every female body check each other automatically out as prospective mates for procreation, as soon as they get into close enough contact for the first time.    This checking out can happen in a short moment, and people can check out hundreds of potential mates, before they once perceive a chemistry strong enough to reach the conscious level.    This checking out is not conscious.   Only when they like each other's genes, they consciously feel what is called chemistry, they get infatuated and maybe they will develop love later.   Only if their genes do not want to breed, then they are able to interact in a non-sexual way with each other without the need of restraint and self-control.   While on the conscious level, there are age and other limits defining, whom somebody would consider as a potential mate, on the instinctive level, the body just checks every other body in reach.      

The working of this subconscious checking is independent of the consciousness.    People can differ widely in their sensitivity or desensitization for the amount of perception of this instinctive checking.  It depends on the social norms, experience with previous close contacts, individual and collective denial.    

1.  Dancing.   In societies and social groups, where the interaction of young people with the opposite gender is strictly controlled, this impedes the checking out in the search of a mate.   Therefore dances like the waltz were invented, where people thus were allowed to temporarily get into enough physical contact with many different persons, enabling them to check their mutual genetic attraction.    The sweating from dancing enhances the mutual perception of the pheromones.   
2.  Frequent physical contact like massage, medical treatment and nursing between persons of the opposite genders create a difficult situation.    Someone, who professionally has direct physical contact with persons of the opposite gender, needs high self-control and strict moral rules.   While most of the checking may be negative, when once in a while the bodies detect chemistry, the professional has learned to block this from his consciousness by complete denial, and he develops the routine of never consciously perceiving the results of his instinctive checking.  
But it does not always work this way.    There are again and again cases, when male doctors drug and abuse female patients.   
3.  Sex sells.   It is known, that when a man consciously buys a neutral product, in reality he buys the one, which is sold in association with the picture of women, whom he has subconsciously visually checked out for her genetic qualities.    The result is a sadly oversexed world, where the companies do not compete by the quality of their products, but by using the most successful stimuli on a men's instincts.  
As a result, the men's world is not filled anymore with a rate of feeling chemistry in every one contact in 100 or 1000 or whatever number of contacts, as is in a natural world, but much more often by those fake commercial stimuli from targets out of reach.    Feeling chemistry for a female body is not an exceptional event anymore, that triggers pair-bonding behavior.   For the desensitized man, it is a routine and habitual state without consequences.   

The world is oversexed for the target of men's instincts and money.    As a result women are forced to live in this oversexed world.   

A sensitive woman does not want to be checked by men's instinct without her consent, which means by her own choice and own participation in creating the situation of close physical contact such as is dancing.  
Such a woman naively or by lack of a choice allows a male massager or doctor handle her body, because she has been brainwashed to accept and belief the fairy tale, that professional men like doctors are capable to become temporary neuters, who can turn their instincts on and off by a switch.   She has the delusion of him having switched off his instincts.    Instead she perceives, how his instincts subconsciously check her out at least for a short moment.   He succeeds to keep it out of his consciousness, but in her perception, it is a humiliation.  
A desensitized woman has been brainwashed in a different way, she is made to believe, that there is nothing wrong in being checked out by men's instincts all the time, including that she has to accept her personal space invaded by men for that reason.

This world would be a much better place, if people would acknowledge the full power of their subconscious instinctive urges upon themselves and others, and if they would consciously organize their live in a way to allow the instincts to rule, where they are beneficial, but avoid their detrimental effects.   
That means to reduce the ubiquitous oversexed environment, it means to encourage people to get into close contact only, when it can lead to pair-bonding, but acknowledge the right and justification to refuse close physical contact with unrelated persons of the opposite gender.   
The dignity of having not only the choice, but the right of being treated by female doctors, female nurses, female masseurs should be given back to women.  

The collective denial of the power of the instincts does a lot of damage.