I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Monday, February 28, 2011

250. Eight Months of Blogging

Eight Months of Blogging

In spite of having written 250 entries by now, I am still not getting as many pageviews by google searches as I wish.   So I keep on writing entries.

My latest experience:
On a German paying site I got the special offer that I was allowed to contact other members for free during one entire day.    I was informed in advance, so I had enough time to scrutinize over 1400 profiles, who had been logged into recently.
Those profiles had been suggested to me as alleged matches, but there was no way to select for childfree atheists, who are really singles and not only separated.   
About a year ago I had contacted their customer service and suggested to them to include childfree and not religious in their search criteria.    They treated me as if I had suggested to include green skin and pointed ears.   

Therefore I had lost interest in this dating site due to their refusing to install the additional search options.    I was only contacted a few times, mostly by men, who were beyond 70, the oldest was 80.  At 61, I am looking for someone to grow old together, not for someone to make me a widow soon.  

But now I had one day of free contacting and so I started a gigantic task.   The first click is to open a profile, then scanning if they have children or not, scanning for religion or not, scanning for separated or single.   The second click to remove the unsuitable profile from the list, the third click to confirm the removal and the forth click to go back to the list.  
After handling about a dozen profiles, it became a routine, I managed to remove about 3 profiles per minute.   It was a dull routine, I felt like working on an assembly line.   By listening to an ebook I avoided feeling bored, while I worked myself through all those profiles.   

After hours and after more than 5000 clicks, there were about 100 profiles left, that met my basic criteria.   Having carefully read them, I contacted about 10 men.    None of them was someone especially appealing as a mindmate, but I contacted them, as I only had one day to do so.   Of those, so far two replied with a polite rejection.   

This is searching for a needle in a haystack without even knowing, if the needle even is in this particular haystack.  

They gave me one day for free.   At first I perceived it as an opportunity.  After 5000 clicks, I started to get aware, that the real benefit was not for me, but for them.   Every time someone on that site opens my profile, I get notified by email of someone's interest.  
Therefore as a result of my completed task, more than 1400 men got an email as if I were interested in them.    They cannot know, that instead of being interested, I just removed them as incompatible and that the alleged interest is fake as a result of insufficient search criteria.  
The site got a boost of activity out of me, making the site appear more beneficial for the men than it really is.      It seems that they deny better search criteria for the purpose to make more people look at incompatible profiles.