I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, February 11, 2011

243. Patients' Cross Gender Choice of Doctors and Nurses - 2

Patients' Cross Gender Choice of Doctors and Nurses - 2

This continues entries 241 and 242.
This is also a reply to Suzy's text, who has invited me to add my comment.

2.  Why do institutions ruthlessly force treatment and nursing by doctors and nurses of the opposite gender upon patients, even though they protest and resist?   

This concerns institutions like hospitals, nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, forensic and psychiatric wards, in short all institutions, where people enter, because they have no choice to stay out, either by health issues or by being admitted by law. 

The principle of medical treatment is supposed to be:  primum non nocere.   That means, first of all, do no harm.  
It is by now general accepted science, that psychological factors have a very important part in helping or impeding the healing of any health issue.   
When a woman experiences the handling of her body by a male doctor or nurse as a sexual assault and she is powerless to refuse it and to protect herself, this does serious harm to her.   This may well make her more sick and impede her healing.    It is a violation of the primum non nocere rule. 

There are several factors to consider:

1.  Who has the power to decide the job organization, the institution governance, the rules, the choice to employ male or female nurses?
Who is responsible and accountable, when a male nurse washes a woman in spite of her protest?
Has he decided this himself, is the distribution of the work load decided by the workgroup or by the management and by dominating bosses?
Are there any rules to protect the women, but the staff ignores the rules and nobody enforces them?
Does a male nurse risk his job, if he refuses to wash a non-consenting woman?  

2.  For what reasons do people choose to become nurses, doctors, massagers and other jobs of directly handling human bodies?  
How much maturity and emotional intelligence was in that choice?
  • Average:  It is just a well paid and secure job, there has been a role model in the family, or there is any other haphazard but neutral reason.   
  • Dangerously immature and lacking emotional intelligence:  Some men are driven by their subconscious sexual wishes to choose a job, which gets their hands on women's bodies.
  • Maturity and emotional intelligence:  They are caring persons with a lot of altruism and maybe political motivation.  They want a job, where they feel to do something good and not just be part of the capitalistic rat race.  
3.  Has the institution of their training and the institution of employing them screened for their motivation to keep the dangerous and immature men out?

Assuming for the following considerations, that the male nurse is a person with the motivation to give good care to the patients.  He sincerely wants to avoid harming.    What are the reasons, that he in spite of this does wash the woman, who experiences this as a sexual assault?

1.  The woman suffers but nobody knows it.
1.1.  The woman has been so brainwashed, that she is has begun to belief herself to be a ridiculous prude, whose feeling uncomfortable in this situation were her own flaw, and she does not dare to protest.    
1.2.  She is scared to be punished as a trouble maker.   
1.3.. She has been declared as seriously mentally disturbed, and her protest against being washed by a man is mistaken by insensitive promiscuous men as a part of her mental condition.   In the worst case, if she has the courage to struggle against the sexual assault, they may even force psychopharmaceuticals into her.

2.  The nurse is promiscuous with extrinsic morals only.   For a promiscuous person, sexuality between bodies is principally permissible and acceptable, no matter if it goes as far as copulating like alley dogs or if indulging in any form of allowing or enjoying sexual stimulation.   For a promiscuous male nurse, it is just of no importance, how much or how little washing a woman's body is a sexual activity.    
If he is not only promiscuous, but also immature, he projects his own promiscuity upon all other people.   He has no clue, that a woman, for whom monogamy is a core part of her personality, perceives any sexuality without a committed relationship as a harmful assault.    He is ignorant, how much he is harming her.  
He may well have the morals not to cheat and to respect other people's relationship, and such.  He may well consider himself as a moral man, but based on the assumption of universal promiscuity.    If he is part of a social group, where promiscuity, desensitization, oversexation (entry 237) have become the norm, he may never have a chance to learn, that a woman has her own dignity and that her basic human rights include her right to keep unrelated men away from her intimate space. 
Such a nurse may take the alleged sanity of promiscuity so much for granted, that he may indeed sincerely belief, that a woman's wish for modesty is a sign of mental disturbance.

Only a male nurse, who is monogamy and whose promiscuity-inhibition (entry 101 ) has never been destroyed, can have the intrinsic moral based upon his own values, that enables him to know the limits of morally justifiable intrusion into a woman's intimate space.   

There is the problem:   The woman in the situation of experiencing the male intrusion into her intimate space directly suffers harm from that nurse, but the true cause of the harm is the social norm of widespread promiscuity and oversexation in mainstream society, and the desensitization of those, who have the power to inflict harm on the minority of the sensitive and monogamous people.    
Promiscuity is a scourge of humanity, and the harm of promsicuous male nurses is just one more indication of this.