I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Monday, February 14, 2011

245. Gender Roles Caused by Subconscious Fear

Gender Roles Caused by Subconscious Fear

Someone suggested an excellent article to me:

It is worth reading, but in a very oversimplified way, the gist is that women are more motivated for a life on a smaller, more personal, more spaciously limited scale.    It is a convincing and very plausible description of reality.    But I miss any mentioning of the cause.   Baumeister presents that limitation to women's more or less innate choice.  

But here again, as so often, the most fundamental difference between men and women is omitted:
Men have the choice to either be egalitarians, or to use their greater physical strength to enforce domination over women by violence, coercion and intimidation.
Women have less choices.   If their are not enough egalitarian man available, then they have only the choice to suffer or to run, if possible.   
On the level of instinctivity, women are only given the choice to either allow one man to dominate and protect her, or to be dominated by all men without protection.     Finding one of the few egalitarian men is like winning one of the few prizes in the lottery of life.  

I know, that at least 95% of adult men are physically so much stronger than I am, that they are able to kill me with their bare hands and to force any atrocity of their choice upon me.    I know, that by instinct and by social norms, some men are driven and feel entitled to use womens' bodies ruthlessly and by the delusion of entitlement.   

When I was hiking alone or exploring deserted ruins etc, especially when travelling in Mediterranean countries, I experienced every encounter with any man, while no one else was nearby, as a threat that caused me fear.   
In such situations, I experienced the fear consciously as a consequence of a real danger.   But I think, that this fear is in the subconscious mind of many women, and it is behind a lot of gender differences.   

As described in the article, do women limit themselves to the smaller world of closer personal relationships and focusing on the home by motivation, choice and by the instinct to breed?   Or are they rather reducing the fear by sticking together to feel protected?

Desensitization, denial, submission, religious acceptance of being rewarded in heaven for suffering on earth are all just female strategies to deal with that fear.   But there is still enough of that basic fear working in the subconscious of women, that they are inclined to suffer too much indignity and humiliation just by resignation to the overpowering male dominance.