I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

246. Women's Conscious and Subconscious Fears

Women's Conscious and Subconscious Fears

This continues entry 245.  

Many men think, that the progress of technology has created so many tools and instruments, that women can compensate for their relative lack of strength.   With modern weapons and tools, women can become soldiers and construction workers.    As long as this concerns competition and cooperation, it is true.   
But even the most women friendly men are oblivious for the fact, that on the individual level of every day life, no technology has changed anything since the age of the cave men.    In any isolated one to one situation, women are as vulnerable and at the men's mercy as ever.  
In every situation, when a women has a chance encounter with a stranger or a man, whom she does not know enough to trust, she is in real danger, if they are at a place, where there are no other people around.   

Luckily enough, I have never been raped, but short of that, I had my share of enough unpleasant experiences, that have taught me the truth about how dangerous men can be.   I told one minor example in entry 119.   It was a scary and stressful situation for me to face the two alternatives of either spending a night on a park bench or sharing a room with an unknown man.    
Men just do not get into this kind of a situation.   

The statistical chance of being attacked may be low.   But every time a man expresses his instinctive inclinations towards a woman's body in a noticeable way, and that happens very often, the woman cannot know, if he has the self-control to stop short of an attack.    She experiences herself at the mercy of a potentially dangerous animal.  
When a man hikes up to some deserted and remote ruins of an old castle on the top of a hill, he can sit there relaxed and enjoy his picnic.   In the same situation, I as a woman alone can never really be relaxed, and when a man appears, I am on alert and I start to get scared.   
When I miss the last bus and have to walk home from the railway station at midnight, I am scared.   

Weapons are not an answer.   They would make life only more risky.   Here in Germany, luckily enough, weapons are strictly controlled.   Most of the average cultivated and decent people have never in their life even had a gun in their hands, except those, who had been soldiers.   
Were this legal here, should a person like me, who hates weapons, train to learn to shoot, because some men are dangerous?   Should I carry a gun to explore ruins?   
Then if I get scared, I would either shoot in panic at someone, who was not really attacking me.  Then I would end up in prison for murder.   If I would hesitate too long, and the man would take the gun from me and then he would be even more dangerous.    And if even every woman runs around with a gun, then the men attempting to attack a woman would also have a gun.   When nobody has a weapon, a woman has at least a chance to run away.   If the man points a gun at a woman, she cannot even run away.   
I am very glad, that normal people in Germany do not have guns, not even at home.  

Men have often no clue, what it means to experience the threat of a life of being a potential prey to predators all the time.   There is a widespread denial of the danger for women, and many women are very naive themselves. 

In the western world, a woman is like an antelope in the savanna, where there are lions, who are allegedly tamed, but not all are.  
In the islamic world, there is much more awareness for the women's danger, but the prey is punished by being locked away and made walk under a tent, while the predators are allowed the freedom.    
They put the antelopes in the cages, while the lions are free.  

In the USA, there are those ghettos, where sometimes only people of one skin color do live.  Any person looking differently is in real danger to be attacked by just entering the ghetto.   But they have the choice to keep out of the ghetto.   
For a woman, the entire world is a men dominated ghetto.