I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, February 11, 2011

242. Patients' Cross Gender Choice of Doctors and Nurses - 1

Patients' Cross Gender Choice of Doctors and Nurses - 1

This continues entry 241.    After writing it, I did some googling, and I discovered lots of discussions on the topic of the importance of the gender of the chosen doctor.   I was astonished and at first also a bit puzzled, how many people defend their cross gender choice.  

With full sensitivity and consciousness for the biological facts, it is obvious, that every intrusion into the intimate space of a person by another person of the opposite gender is connected with sexual instincts.    When the intrusion is forced upon the person, it can be called a sexual assault.   People, who do not experience or define this kind of contact as sexual, are desensitized or in denial.  
Logically, if women would be treated and nursed by women, and men by men, a lot of trouble and suffering from abuse could be avoided.    But in spite of this, this pattern is not the normal case. 

This leads to two questions:
  • Why do patients sometimes consciously choose doctors and nurses of the opposite gender?
  • Why do institutions ruthlessly force treatment and nursing by doctors and nurses of the opposite gender upon patients, even though they protest and resist?   

1.  Why do patients sometimes consciously choose doctors and nurses of the opposite gender?

The doctor treats patients as they come, he does not choose their gender, usually he does not have this option.    Only the patients sometimes have a choice.   In most cases, it is the power of the institution like the hospital or contracts with health insurances, that assign patients to cross gender doctors.   In a hospital, a female patient may protest to be treated by a male doctor, and he my even sympathize with her wish ready to comply, but he is forced to take her case by the rules of the institution. 
-When a female heterosexual doctor treats a female patient, and when a male heterosexual doctor treats a male patient, it can be expected, that the quality of the treatment depends on the qualification of the doctor, the personality and the actual condition of stress, fatigue and such.    Sexuality does not interfere.
- When a patient is neither objectively nor subjectively troubled by the doctor of the opposite gender, then they are mutually persons, who would not mate, even if they were the only persons on a deserted island, because there is no chemistry, not instinctive attraction at all.   In this case, sexuality may also not interfere.
When a patient chooses the doctor by gender, the choice is always based upon conscious or subconscious sexual reasons.  
-When a female patient chooses a female doctor and a male patient a male doctor, they do it consciously for the reason of decency and for being sensitive enough to entering a situation, that they personally would perceive as sexual.   They do not want any sexual attraction without a relationship.   If they have a partner, it is an act of respect for the partner to avoid all inappropriate sexual attraction, they are risking by the examination.
-When a female patient chooses a male doctor, because she feels, that he is especially kind, patiently listening, taking his time for her, this is an expression of subconscious attraction converted into behavior, that is on the conscious level experienced as pleasant.   Assuming that neither the doctor nor the patient would even consider cheating on their respective partners, this does not exclude, that somewhere in the subconscious the doctor imagines a date with the attractive woman.   Maybe the woman is married to a man, who has a low status job earning little money and she subconsciously enjoys the attention of a man of high social status.  
-Some men are no only homophobic, but panicking about ever being either mistaken for gay or discovering any sign of being gay in themselves, it would cause them too much shame.   They are phobic to experience unwanted reactions if consulting a male urologist.   They prefer a female doctor.   Whatever reactions they show and cannot control, gives them a double set of feelings, superficial embarrassment covering the feeling of expressing the masculinity as subjectively for them it should be.   -Female patients are brainwashed to accept a male doctor and the presence of a chaperon as enough protection.   It does protect them from active abuse, but it does not at all diminish the instinctive urges of the male doctor, making him perceive her not as a person entrusted him to cure, but as a potential prey temporarily out of his reach.   

The second question will be answered in another entry.