I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

249. Love Has No Age, But Equality Has

Love Has No Age, But Equality Has

I think to have mentioned before, that I am sick and tired of being contacted by men, who are considerably younger, but who think to be good enough for me, to be equals in spite of being much younger.    Usually they do not even understand, why I reject them.

Here is an analogy:   
Someone wants to book a course to improve the knowledge or skill of something, for example a language at a school, that offers several levels from beginners to very advanced.   This person can only learn and feel at ease in a class, that corresponds to his own level of previous knowledge.   
In a class for beginners, he would be superior and learn nothing, in a too advanced class he would be inferior and could not follow and also would learn nothing.   

Life is a process of learning and gaining maturity.    A couple is a team cooperating in the learning process of creating a happy committed relationship.   This also requires to be on the same level of the process of personal growth as a result of aging.   
I am 61, and with a male person of 30 or 40, whom I perceive as a boy, a youngster, but not as a man, there would be a very imbalanced situation.   The maturity level of my age is so far above his, that he is just inferior.    I would have to lower myself down to his level, that is half or a third of a life time behind me.    By lowering my own level to his, I would be the giving one, the teacher, the guru, and he would be the receiving, learning and profiting one.   I would be the giving one to someone, who has nothing to value to give back to me.  

Equal rights between all people are independent of who the persons are.   But an egalitarian relationship requires a solid base of equality, that includes also the age.