I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

279. The Elephant and the China Store

The Elephant and the China Store
A china store is not the right place for an elephant.  
A rough and insensitive man and a vulnerable woman are a mismatch.   
Damage is unavoidable, because china and the woman are both fragile.    When a woman is sensitive and vulnerable, that is her personality.   China is fragile, else it is no china.  
China cannot be converted into and treated like iron.   The woman cannot convert herself into someone robust and become resilient to very rough treatment.   

An elephant, who is wise, either learns, how to move between the china without doing damage, or he goes to an iron ware store, where he can tramp at ease and do no damage.    A wise man learns, how to treat a vulnerable woman without hurting her, or he looks for a woman, who is robust and resilient to how he treats her.   

An elephant, who is an emotional moron, tramps through the china store, leaving behind a trail of devastation.   When he cuts his feet on the shards, he blames the china for breaking.   Instead of seeing, that he smashed fragile china, he mistakes the valuable china for faulty iron ware, that should not have broken.
An emotional moron hurts a woman beyond her endurance, and when her reactions are unpleasant for him, then he blames her lack of resilience on her as her flaw.   Instead of accepting to have hurt someone vulnerable, he mistakes her valuable sensitive person for a defective robust person, who should not have been affected by his rough handling.   

A wise elephant knows the difference between iron ware and china, and stays out of the china store, if he has not learned to move about without doing damage.  
A wise man knows the difference between robust and vulnerable women, and he stays away from women, whom he would hurt, because he has not learned how to avoid it.
An emotionally moronic elephant does not know the difference and enters any store, wreaking havoc, if it happens to be a china store.
An emotional moron does not know the difference between robust and vulnerable women and wreaks havoc on the emotions of any sensitive woman, who exposes herself to him.  

All elephants look alike, and the china store has no way to choose, which elephants can be allowed to enter, and which are dangerous.   And this is, where my metaphor gets absurd, because why would a china store ever admit an elephant?   
It is not written on a man's forehead, if he is wise, decent and mature or a jerk or an emotional moron.    But a vulnerable woman wanting a partner does have a reason to get herself into danger, because otherwise she is doomed to remain alone.    She has the problem, how to stay away from the men, would would hurt her, before they do it, but find one, who is able to treat her right.