I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Friday, April 22, 2011

290. A Metaphor for Denial

A Metaphor for Denial

A man drives underneath a steep cliff.    In front of him lies a boulder on the road.    Any person of normal intelligence drives around or stops.   A moron drives straight on until he hits the boulder with full speed.    His reason is his denial of reality in favor of his belief of what should be.  
The moron in denial believes that there cannot be any obstacles, because a road is made to drive upon it without obstacles.    If he is alone in the car, he is a candidate for the Darwin award.   But if there is a woman with him in the car, who repeatedly warns him with growing urgency, and he ignores her warnings, then he is responsible for the harm, that hitting the boulder does to her.   He believes his definition of a road more than he believes the perception of reality of the woman.

The emotional moron is just like that man.   He has entered a relationship and believes that by using domination, the road is free with no obstacles to get all his needs out of the woman, whom he believes to be a commodity.   The woman repeatedly warns him, that he is running with full speed towards the destruction of the relationship.   He is in full denial until it is too late, and the relationship is over.  He is responsible for the harm, that he does to the woman by ignoring her warnings.  He believes his delusion of the woman's appropriate role as a commodity more than her attempted explanation about her reality.   

Maybe there should be a Darwin award for the most stupid way to destroy a relationship and to drive a woman away.