I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

175. The Jerkish Recipe Book

The Jerkish Recipe Book
I have spent 5 months writing this blog to explain in detail, what I want from a man and what behaviors I recoil from.    But it had all been written before in many websites and books.   

There are male seduction artist gurus, who write cooking books for male animals filled with the advice of how to lure female animals into bed.  

I just skimmed over 270 pages of such a text.    I am too disgusted to honor the author with free publicity, so I do not give the link.   Even though that text gives me a desire to puke, it was interesting, because in a weird way, that book backs up my idea, that men are either jerks or nice decent guys.   Only in my dream world, all jerks would be converted to become nice guys.   That book is all about recipes, how the nice guys should convert themselves into jerks.   
But if someone takes every claim from that text, that is describing women in the perception of a male animal, and writes down the exact contrary, then the result is a good description of me.  
And If someone takes every advice from that text about how to treat a woman and writes down the exact contrary of this advice, then this is a good cooking book how to win me.
In short, if everything in that text would be converted into its precise opposite, it would be a book about me and my search.  

Fortunately for women like me, the difference between nice guys and jerks is not just learned behavior, but in my understanding also the absence or presence of high instinctivity. Therefore such books will not be convincing to all nice guys, only to those, who are already emotional jerks, but had no yet learned the real jerkish skill.  A few of the nice guys will always stay true to their decent nature and continue to be nice guys and possible mindmates for me.