I am a woman born 1949 and my quest is to find a mindmate
to grow old together as a mutually devoted couple
in a relationship based upon the
egalitarian rational commitment paradigm
bonded by intrinsic commitment
as each other's safe haven and secure basis.

The purpose of this blog is to enable the right man
to recognize us as reciprocal mindmates and
to encourage him to contact me:

The entries directly concerning,
who could be my mindmate,
are mainly at the beginning.
If this is your predominant interest,
I suggest to read this blog in the same order
as it was written, following the numbers.

I am German, therefore my English is sometimes faulty.

Maybe you have stumbled upon this blog not as a potential match.
Please wait a short moment before zapping.

Do you know anybody, who could be my mindmate?
Your neighbour, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend?
If so, please tell him to look at this blog.
While you have no reason to do this for me,
a stranger, maybe you can make someone happy, for whom you care.

Do you have your own webpage or blog,
which someone like my mindmate to be found probably reads?
If so, please mention my quest and add a link to this blog.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

183. Cultural Differences and Mate Selection

Cultural Differences and Mate Selection

What I said about my appreciating a man's shyness and reticence as an indication of his lack of routine in approaching women may well be more valid in Germany than in some other countries and cultures.  

One of the cultural differences, that I noticed between the USA and Germany, is the German reticence and the American lack of inhibition to talk to strangers anywhere without any obvious reason like asking for directions.  

When I grew up, it was considered as plebeian, uncultivated and rude, if a man would approach an unknown woman in the street, and a woman with self-respect would reject such behavior.   People got in contact mainly at school, university, courses, at social events or leisure activities. 

Some days ago, I watched a documentary about a pick up artist guru giving lessons to a wanna-be-jerk about how to approach unknown women in the street.   It was obvious, that this was just about improving the success in something, that has culturally in principle been already acceptable there.    I got the expression, that in the USA it is considered as normal behavior, that a man approaches a previously unknown woman, asks her for a date and she accepts.   If she does not, it is because she does not like the guy, not by considering it an insult to be approached like this.  

This leads to a very interesting question.  On, there is a list of the 'Percentage of New Marriages which End in Divorce, in Selected Countries (2002)'.   
For the United States, the percentage of 45.8 is much higher than that of 39.4 for Germany.

Could this considerable difference be a consequence of the different method of mate-selection?   Could it be, that Americans get into contact based upon liking each other's look, by agreeing on dating as strangers in the street, while Germans get to know each other more as a result of the occasion of already sharing something, be it a hobby, a sport or a career?  
Does the attraction by mere looks lead to more infatuation, that cannot last, while people, who meet by having something in common, get less infatuated and more attracted by some similarity in their personality?